Tuesday, November 10, 2015

I want what I want!






I've done it again, unintentionally spread myself too thin. When I left my job in May it was because I felt there hasdto be something more. I didn't know what that more was but I knew it had to be out there. I was tired of living for my job and not actually living.

Fast forward five months and I'm doing it again. Not that I'm living for a job but I'm living for making a living. I waitress, I drive for Uber, I do network marketing, affiliate marketing, I'm writing, trying to blog. Everything but living.

That ends today. Today I spent some time in my head and picked the things I need to do to pay the bills, but also bring me joy, and two things I love. Those are the only things I will be focusing on.

Surprisingly I really love waiting tables. I didn't think I would and at first I hated it. I wasn't good at, I didn't feel strong enough to lift those trays, I couldn't remember anything and my glasses were always falling off of my head. Now, three months later, I love it. My glasses still fall and I still can't remember shit but I have a note pad and I can buy those little things to hang my glasses around my neck.

The women I work with are hysterical. These are not women I would have known otherwise. We don't have the same friends, hang out at the same places or have any similarities in our histories. But they make me laugh and they talk so much shit about each other but they are the first ones to show up if someone needs something. So the waitressing job stays. Actually the politically correct term is server but I think we are all our own version of Flo, snapping our gum and saying "Kiss my grits".

I will also continue to Uber. I was scared to death at first but now after about a month, I love it. I've met the most interesting people and it has overall been a very positive experience.

Now for the things I love. I will write, Every day. It is what I need to do, it's what I want to do. If no one ever reads it, that's ok. I write for me.

I also love to create. Sewing, painting, creating something out of nothing. I will continue to do that because it makes me so happy.

Other than that I will love on that cute little man in my life, spend time with the best daughter ever and finally have time for the other people I love.

I am giving up my house, moving to a tiny apartment and I'm so excited about that I can't even begin to explain it. Finally, I will have time to be who I was born to be, and I'll remind myself every day that life is meant for living.

There are no prizes at the end for those who die with the most money, so why sacrifice your life chasing it? I would much rather have the joy that comes with slowing down to really notice my life and be present for the people in it.

I don't need a bigger house, a newer car, a larger TV. I need hugs from my daughter and sloppy kisses from my grandson. Laughs with my sisters and best friend. Phone calls from my Momma. Those are the things I want. Now I'm going to focus on getting what I want.

And because no post feels complete without sharing this cutie, here's a recent picture in his little bomber jacket. Could you just die?