No, I'm not talking about menopause, not this time anyway. I'm talking about this time in my life when nothing seems to be what I need anymore.
My job, my house, everything seems like a bad fit. So I'm changing it up. The same thing is happening to one of my friends who is just a few years younger than I am so I'm chalking it up to age.
Is it because I'm still single? Is that causing the unsettled feeling? I still date occasionally but usually as soon as I do I am almost instantly reminded why dating is a bad idea.
I'm busily looking for a job even though the thought of being stuck in a cubicle again makes me want to gag, I know I need an income. There are no rich relatives in my family tree.
I want to sell my house, I want to ride my bike every day, I want to visit with friends, I want to write, I want to watch the sun rise and set, I want to listen to my grandson laugh. None of those things involve marketable skills.
I'm trying to find ways to create an income without sacrificing my life to a cubicle again. I'm pretty determined so I have no doubt I'll succeed, the question isn't if, it's when. How long will it take to replace my income.
I'll have to work for a while, I don't like it but it's the reality. The mortgage company doesn't want to hear that I just don't feel like working anymore.
Being off for the last month has reminded me how much I've been missing. I don't want to wait until I'm 65 or 70 and can retire to really live my life. I want to live it now, while I can enjoy it. Before that aches and pains and worries that I'm sure are coming have taken over.
I'm not sure what the point of this post was but once again, it was in my head so here you go!