Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Online dating, or how much do I hate myself

 In my quest to find what is missing in my life, I've decided to try online dating again. First I have to say, I hate it so that probably colors my perception of it. Online dating is only slightly less irritating than a bikini wax and almost as embarrassing as a pelvic exam.

  I hate dating people I don't know. Oxymoron I know, you have to date people you don't know because  the people you know are either married already or too weird to date. So how do you meet people? Why a dating website of course.

   So I signed up for a dating website. I put together a somewhat amusing profile, posted some pictures from this century and waited.

   I didn't have to wait long, apparently these people are even more desperate than I am. I always respond to everyone who takes the time to email me, it's the polite thing to do, but some people make me question why I respond.

   I like to think I am a fairly articulate person, at the very least I like to talk so my responses are rarely one word. Below is an actual conversation I had on this website. I should have known when I saw his user name was Sultryknight but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

    Sultryknight: Wow
    Me: Thanks, I think. So tell me about your unusual hobbies. ( his profile said he has lots of hobbies, several of them unusual and he invites you to ask about them)
    Sultryknight: I study languages.
    Me: That is pretty unusual. How did you get interested in languages? Do you study one language or multiple ones? Which languages do you study and can you speak them all or do you just study the composition?
    Sultryknight: 7 languages
     Me: (I'm getting a little frustrated, I expected more give and take from a man who studies languages) You are a man of few words.
    Sultyknight: Breathless from your pics
    Me: And possibly full of shit
    Sultyknight: not at all
I deleted him after that. I tried to correspond with him but that really wasn't my idea of a conversation.

Then a gentleman contacted me and his user name was wordnerd- as a book worm and lover of conversation I was again excited at the prospect of having a conversation with someone. I was once again disappointed.

 His side of the conversation looked like this:
  Doin good!!!!
  Just left the gym!!!!!
  Nite nite!!!!!!!
 Busy, busy day!!!!!!

  I don't think I've used that many exclamation points in a year. Why would you chose wordnerd as your user name if you are not a nerdy user of words?

   I'm really disappointed. I know it's hard to express who you are in an online profile but I also think if it's important to you then you will make an effort.

   If you are over 50 years old  and really want to meet someone please don't list your interests as "chillaxing."

   The optimist in me says keep plugging along, you never know when you will meet that special someone. The bitch in me says, the hell with this, I don't want to be anyone's QWEEN.



  1. Oh God - the so-called word "chillaxin" drives me INSANE! You have to keep trying - eventually you are bound to come across someone you at least want to meet.

  2. Just remember lots of those weirdos on line are lady killers (literally). be very careful !!!

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  4. Sorry, those are funny! I used to always negatively think of online dates and online dating websites, but I know lots of couples who met that way and eventually got married, so dont give up hope yet!


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