Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Online dating, or how much do I hate myself

 In my quest to find what is missing in my life, I've decided to try online dating again. First I have to say, I hate it so that probably colors my perception of it. Online dating is only slightly less irritating than a bikini wax and almost as embarrassing as a pelvic exam.

  I hate dating people I don't know. Oxymoron I know, you have to date people you don't know because  the people you know are either married already or too weird to date. So how do you meet people? Why a dating website of course.

   So I signed up for a dating website. I put together a somewhat amusing profile, posted some pictures from this century and waited.

   I didn't have to wait long, apparently these people are even more desperate than I am. I always respond to everyone who takes the time to email me, it's the polite thing to do, but some people make me question why I respond.

   I like to think I am a fairly articulate person, at the very least I like to talk so my responses are rarely one word. Below is an actual conversation I had on this website. I should have known when I saw his user name was Sultryknight but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

    Sultryknight: Wow
    Me: Thanks, I think. So tell me about your unusual hobbies. ( his profile said he has lots of hobbies, several of them unusual and he invites you to ask about them)
    Sultryknight: I study languages.
    Me: That is pretty unusual. How did you get interested in languages? Do you study one language or multiple ones? Which languages do you study and can you speak them all or do you just study the composition?
    Sultryknight: 7 languages
     Me: (I'm getting a little frustrated, I expected more give and take from a man who studies languages) You are a man of few words.
    Sultyknight: Breathless from your pics
    Me: And possibly full of shit
    Sultyknight: not at all
I deleted him after that. I tried to correspond with him but that really wasn't my idea of a conversation.

Then a gentleman contacted me and his user name was wordnerd- as a book worm and lover of conversation I was again excited at the prospect of having a conversation with someone. I was once again disappointed.

 His side of the conversation looked like this:
  Doin good!!!!
  Just left the gym!!!!!
  Nite nite!!!!!!!
 Busy, busy day!!!!!!

  I don't think I've used that many exclamation points in a year. Why would you chose wordnerd as your user name if you are not a nerdy user of words?

   I'm really disappointed. I know it's hard to express who you are in an online profile but I also think if it's important to you then you will make an effort.

   If you are over 50 years old  and really want to meet someone please don't list your interests as "chillaxing."

   The optimist in me says keep plugging along, you never know when you will meet that special someone. The bitch in me says, the hell with this, I don't want to be anyone's QWEEN.


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

I like the Olympics, gay or straight

I had written a lovely little rant about intolerance and hate. I decided not to post it. I don't want to beat you over the head with my beliefs any more than I want you to beat me over the head with yours.

Let's just say I love the Canadian Olympic commercial and I hope that all people will one day have the same rights. 


Monday, February 10, 2014

Into each life a little rain must fall, or some crap like that

  Last week was a little crazy. Since Hailey moved home I am finally finishing the upstairs so there is plenty of room for her and the baby. This means that the room I tore apart four years ago will finally be a real bedroom again!

  Joe is doing a great job and I'm chomping at the bit to get it finished and post pictures of it on my blog. I'm so excited but what is not exciting is the construction dirt. The walls in that room had to be sanded and textured, a lot! Poor Joe! That was a lot of work! And now, the whole house is coated with a white film and everything is gritty. I can't wait for it to be done so I can clean the house.

   On top of the construction we are having a bit of a pre spring thaw. It's been in the forties, raining a little, the snow is melting, birds are singing and my backyard is full of mud and dog poop. Since it's raining I can't clean up the dog poop.

   So now my house is full of drywall dust, mud and dog poop. Yay me, hopefully soon, the upstairs will be done, the house will be clean, the yard will dry out and I will find my sanity somewhere under all the crafty things we are doing for Hailey's baby shower.


Friday, February 7, 2014

Homemade housewarming gifts

   One of my resolutions this year is to give more handmade gifts. I want to give a piece of my heart with every gift I give. Sometimes it's not possible, but when it is, I want to do it.

    I know two people who are moving into new places so that means housewarming gifts. I was going to run to the store and put together a basket of kitchen towels, candles, spices, maybe a plant. Then  I remembered my resolution.

    Sometimes it's hard to give handmade gifts because not everyone appreciates them, but I took a chance and I'm glad I did.

    One of the people moving is my niece Kayla. Kay is newly married and has the cutest little boy. She is very conscientious about what she feeds her family and the things they are exposed to, I knew she would appreciate an all natural gift.

   After some web searching I decided to make a gift for them that I already use and love, laundry sauce. A while ago I started making my own laundry detergent. When you look at the ingredients in regular detergent, it's not hard to make the decision to go homemade.

   Making your own laundry detergent is not only cheaper and healthier, it's better for your skin and the environment.

   I've tried several different recipes for homemade laundry detergent and while I liked the detergent I didn't like having a five gallon bucket of detergent in my laundry room. I kept searching and found one that I like and is super concentrated., Mom's Super Laundry Sauce. It's quick, easy, smells wonderful and you can store 128 load of laundry sauce in two quart mason jars.

    I didn't really make any changes other than instead of grating my soap I cut it in chunks and heated it in the microwave instead. I love when the soap gets fluffy, plus it's easier than all that grating, just heat if for 30 seconds at a time until it's all fluffy then let it cool and crumble it in the boiling water.

    The website even has cute little tags you can print off, then all you have to do is grab some ribbon and your gift is complete.

  We were out of homemade laundry detergent and Hailey needed to wash some baby clothes so she ran out and bought some Dreft to wash his clothes in. I was floored. First of all, it was $12 for 32 loads of laundry and has almost an identical ingredient list to other "non baby" laundry detergents, including fragrance.

     The homemade detergent has three ingredients, no fragrance and costs about $1.76 for 128 loads. Glad we have this option for washing anything that will be next to that sweet baby's skin.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

It's hard fixing the world

  Usually when I think about what I want to write here, I want to make you laugh. I don't feel much like laughing today. Nothing is wrong, but something is wrong. Does that make sense?

  I'm  finding more and more that there is something missing from my life and I'm trying to fix it by being in control and always fixing everything around me. Maybe then I won't notice that I need fixing more than anything.

  I recently started attending a new church. I've gone there a few times in the past but didn't really connect with the pastor. They have a new pastor now so I thought I would try again.  I got online to try to find out what time the service was but it wasn't listed, I thought it was 10:30 so I decided to go at 10:15 and be either 15 minutes early or 15 minutes late, whatever.

   I was right about the time so I was early. I made sure to let the pastor's wife know the time was not on the website. I spent the entire service making a list of things that could be done to "improve" the church.

   It wasn't until I was home that I realized, the church is perfect the way it is, I just need to stop fixing things that aren't broken in an attempt to ignore what is really broken.

    So, this is a month of change for me. Big changes. I'm going to do some things I've never done, take some chances that never seemed possible, and try to fix what is missing.

    I bought a question a day journal several years ago and writing in it every night I see the same things repeated over and over again. For the last two years changes have been needed but I've been comfortable and knew that the changes I need would not be comfortable,so nothing has changed. That stops now.

    March 1st I will be on the road to find out who I am, where I'm going and what is really important to me. These changes may not seem dramatic or scary to anyone else but they will take away my stability and security, and those are things that I've always needed above just about  anything else.

    As it gets closer, I'll talk about it more, for now, I'm getting excited that I'm going to fix me instead of the rest of the world.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Leave your men at home, they know not what they do

 Saturday I went grocery shopping. Not a problem unless you are somewhere people are anticipating the Superbowl. Which is pretty much anywhere in the U.S. I have to say, it was not my favorite and then people started pissing me off.

   First of all, men should not be allowed to grocery shop if the only time they go is when they want food for a football game. Men who are not regular shoppers don't know the rules. As a public service I'm going to list the rules, please print these out and hang them on the fridge if your husband is a once a year, football food shopper.

   Rule 1: No one likes when you bring all six of your kids to the grocery store and then forget that they are with you in the rush to get the last package of cocktail wienies for your famous pigs in a blanket. Especially when one of those children has forgotten that she was recently potty trained.

   Rule 2: The aisles are just wide enough for two carts to pass each other, respect oncoming traffic. I saw at least four men settle their carts against the shelves on one side and then stand in front of the shelves on the other side, oblivious to the traffic jam they created in both directions.

  Rule 3:  Shopping is not a contact sport. Just because we are shopping for football food does not mean it is appropriate to use your larger size to intercept the package of ribs I'm putting in my cart.

  Rule 4: Stay the hell home. Your wife is perfectly capable of buying you food like she does the other 51 weeks of the year, she doesn't need your help, unless you want to start the laundry or change that baby from Rule 1.

    I'm kidding, of course, but it was super annoying. I'm from Maryland and the last time I experienced this kind of crazy shopping was when they were calling for over two inches of snow. Some of the shelves where empty in the rush for football food and  I'm still curious to find out what someone did with 30 boxes of brown sugar Frosted Mini Wheats, sweet tea and Ziplock bags.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Grandson update

   Holy crap! Hailey reminded me on Sunday that this is February, so in two months we are going to have a baby in the house. It's closer to three months since he is due the end of April but it's still a little freaky!

   Yesterday was Hailey's regularly scheduled checkup. She's had a rough time of it lately. Her feet are swelling, she's not sleeping, she's been vomiting again, the stretch marks are taking over, her back hurts and she is just uncomfortable all the time. The doctor diagnosed her with third trimester pregnancy.

   I feel for her, I really do, but no one said it was all fun and games. The doctor said little man is growing like he should and basically everything she is feeling is normal and is only going to get worse before it gets better.

   We are slowly getting ready for this little guy. The bedrooms are being remodeled, moved around and redecorated. The shower plans are in the works. In a couple weeks Hailey starts her parenting, breastfeeding and birthing classes.

   With all the resources available to her, Hailey will be better prepared than I was, or the millions of women who came before me. What I need now are grandparenting classes.

   I want to be involved but not take over. I can be a bit of a control freak, surprising I know, and I don't want to interfere with Hailey's parenting.

  It's going to be hard with them living in the house with me, I'm going to want to "help" and "make things easier" and "let Hailey rest." I need to remind her that it's ok to tell me to go walk the dog or something.

  I need to remind myself that she can do this. Women have been raising babies since the beginning of time and they have all been doing it without my interference help, so can she. My girl is gonna rock at this Momma thing.

Monday, February 3, 2014

It's a long wait for football, I should probably get a hobby.

 Yesterday was Superbowl Sunday, in case you were living under a rock or something. I love football, I may have mentioned that I named my daughter after a quarterback.

  I was disappointed that my team didn't make it to the big game so I decided to stay home, watch the game and maybe sew a little.

  I still needed guacamole, after all, it's football. We were going to get some hot wings but since Hailey had been nauseous since 4am, hot wings were better left out.

  The dogs had been driving me crazy all day long, especially Marcy. The thing about border collies is they need a job. If they don't have a job they pretty much make everyone around them crazy. I decided to teach her to make guacamole.

   I know what you're thinking, opposable thumbs and all, but she quietly laid at my feet the whole time I was describing the process to her. It was the only time all day she had been still. Maybe listening is her job.

    I learned something about myself by describing the process out loud- I have no idea what I'm doing. The instructions went something like this:

   "After the avocados are mashed up  add some chili's, not the whole can, just as much as you need. Then add lime juice, how much? As much as you need. Don't forget the Parmesan cheese, except we don't call it Parmesan it's parkenjon cheese because that's what Tony called it when he was little. How much parkenjon cheese? As much as you need."

   How much exactly is as much as you need? No idea. Anyway, the guacamole was made in time for the big game. And just so you know- when the dog makes guacamole she uses too much salt so you might want to keep an eye on that.