Thursday, January 16, 2014
Twitter is a Jewish mother
No one can guilt you quite like a Jewish mother, the Catholics are close but those Jewish mothers, they know how to make you toe the line, and that's what Twitter feels like to me.
There are so many things wrong with Twitter, I don't even know were to start. Most of all, I just don't get it. It feels like the most one sided conversation ever. And when it's not one sided, I still don't get it. I feel like if I'm not glued to my phone at all times I'm not participating.
I had all the tweets coming to my phone and my battery was dead in an hour and I was hyper ventilating because I felt like I should be responding but I had nothing to say! Oh no, I'm the worst follower ever!Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!
I realize all these people posting are not sitting around wondering why I'm not replying or retweeting or favoriting or whatever it is I'm supposed to do, I still feel guilty.
I mean, they are putting it out there for all the world, of course they want a response. It is my responsibility as a follower to respond, it kind of strokes their egos right? I should do that, right? Well I don't.
I tried actively tweeting for a while, but it made no sense to me. I tried reading other people's tweets and I found myself getting upset. First of all, the grammar makes my eyes bleed. Also, mean girls, every-freaking-where. I can't stand all this bashing of this person, you're too fat, you're too skinny, you have a big nose and on and on and on. I feel guilty just reading it.
I have a Twitter feed, I follow people on Twitter because everyone wants people to follow them, it's like being popular in high school. Here's the thing, if I'm following you, I'm not reading a word you tweet. Please don't expect a reply, I follow only to boost your followers, not because I want to stress myself out trying to stay up to date with your tweets. I really can't handle the guilt so you should know right now, I'll follow but I won't pay attention.
The picture at the top of this page, from Two Broke Girls sums up perfectly how I feel about Twitter. Instagram on the other hand, I love, and I always look at your pictures and read what you write, cause I can read, but I do love pictures.