Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Pregnancy craziness

  When I was pregnant I slept with a lot of pillows, one under my head, one between my knees, one propping up the belly and one behind my back to keep me from rolling on to it.

    They tell you now not to sleep on your back because it's bad for circulation or something when you are pregnant, for me, it was the turtle effect. If I rolled on my back there was very real possibility I would be stuck there until someone found me, arms and legs waving in the air, trying not to pee the bed.

  Now, because we are gullible and someone is milking us out of a fortune, you need a pregnancy pillow. I had never even heard of such a thing until Hailey started talking about it. She couldn't wait to get her pregnancy pillow.

   Payday rolls around and Hailey brings home a box with what looks like a stuffed snake coiled up in it. What in the Sam hell is this and how do you work it?

   We pulled it out of the box and Hailey laid on the couch so we could figure it out. I tried to position it like the lady on the box was using it but Hailey kept pulling it this way and that.

     Really, who needs a pillow that you need a degree in engineering to use? Hailey finally got frustrated with my insistence that she was doing it wrong, and stomped up to her room, dragging her weird pillow with her.

    I guess pregnancy pillows are useful, Hailey says it's the first time she's slept through the night in a while. It's a trade off though, the damn thing cost as much as my first car, but considering how cranky she is when she doesn't get enough sleep, it may have saved my life.

    Pregnancy pillows, belly butter, prenatal vitamins, belly bands, the list goes on and on. Now the list for the mom to be is almost as long as the list you need for the new baby! Makes me almost glad I'm on the pacemaker side of life.


1 comment:

  1. I remember I was told to sleep on my left side - something to do with the umbilical cord. I still sleep with a bunch of pillows but I don't think I could work that one.


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