Monday, January 27, 2014

How old am I anyway?

 It's the little things that sneak up on me and remind me that I am no longer 20. Usually they are in relation to someone else and I think to myself, man, how old are they anyway? Then I remember, we went to high school together.

 This happened recently with a man who was my "boyfriend" several times in my life, starting in preschool. I was quite the little vixen, I had two boys who loved me and I was something special with my pigtails and my nap mat. David held my hand at nap time and Johnny opened the bus door for me at the end of the day.

  In fourth grade, David was my "boyfriend" again. Although in fourth grade boys didn't really like girls so the extend of our relationship was me pining for him from afar and running away giggling anytime he looked in my direction.

  At sixteen we had this boyfriend/girlfriend thing figured out- it meant lots of making out behind the grocery store. Sadly, our love was not meant to be. We drifted apart and married others. Preschool love never lasts.

  Now, thanks to modern technology we are friends again. Facebook doesn't care about the 2,000 miles between us and we can talk whenever we want, or not, which is usually the case.

  The other day he had the batteries in his pacemaker replaced. I spit my coffee all over my desk. What the hell was he doing in preschool with me?  Seriously, how many times was he held back? He couldn't have been four because that would mean that I am old enough for a pacemaker and I certainly am not! I really need to find out who ran that preschool and give them a piece of my mind! He must be at least 70 now.

  Sadly, he's not, we are the same age, I may even be a month or two older. I don't understand the pacemaker but apparently he's had it since 2007.

  Now, I'm trying to decide if I should get one. I mean, is it the in thing for people my age? Am I really coming to the age where my Facebook posts are going to be about my aches, pains and bowel habits? Damn.

  I guess I better order my walker and depends so I'm ready. Oh, if you comment on this post, write loud, I think my hearing may be going too.



  2. Maybe if we go in together we can get a great rate on the Depends by buying in bulk!


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