Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Online dating, or how much do I hate myself

 In my quest to find what is missing in my life, I've decided to try online dating again. First I have to say, I hate it so that probably colors my perception of it. Online dating is only slightly less irritating than a bikini wax and almost as embarrassing as a pelvic exam.

  I hate dating people I don't know. Oxymoron I know, you have to date people you don't know because  the people you know are either married already or too weird to date. So how do you meet people? Why a dating website of course.

   So I signed up for a dating website. I put together a somewhat amusing profile, posted some pictures from this century and waited.

   I didn't have to wait long, apparently these people are even more desperate than I am. I always respond to everyone who takes the time to email me, it's the polite thing to do, but some people make me question why I respond.

   I like to think I am a fairly articulate person, at the very least I like to talk so my responses are rarely one word. Below is an actual conversation I had on this website. I should have known when I saw his user name was Sultryknight but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

    Sultryknight: Wow
    Me: Thanks, I think. So tell me about your unusual hobbies. ( his profile said he has lots of hobbies, several of them unusual and he invites you to ask about them)
    Sultryknight: I study languages.
    Me: That is pretty unusual. How did you get interested in languages? Do you study one language or multiple ones? Which languages do you study and can you speak them all or do you just study the composition?
    Sultryknight: 7 languages
     Me: (I'm getting a little frustrated, I expected more give and take from a man who studies languages) You are a man of few words.
    Sultyknight: Breathless from your pics
    Me: And possibly full of shit
    Sultyknight: not at all
I deleted him after that. I tried to correspond with him but that really wasn't my idea of a conversation.

Then a gentleman contacted me and his user name was wordnerd- as a book worm and lover of conversation I was again excited at the prospect of having a conversation with someone. I was once again disappointed.

 His side of the conversation looked like this:
  Doin good!!!!
  Just left the gym!!!!!
  Nite nite!!!!!!!
 Busy, busy day!!!!!!

  I don't think I've used that many exclamation points in a year. Why would you chose wordnerd as your user name if you are not a nerdy user of words?

   I'm really disappointed. I know it's hard to express who you are in an online profile but I also think if it's important to you then you will make an effort.

   If you are over 50 years old  and really want to meet someone please don't list your interests as "chillaxing."

   The optimist in me says keep plugging along, you never know when you will meet that special someone. The bitch in me says, the hell with this, I don't want to be anyone's QWEEN.


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

I like the Olympics, gay or straight

I had written a lovely little rant about intolerance and hate. I decided not to post it. I don't want to beat you over the head with my beliefs any more than I want you to beat me over the head with yours.

Let's just say I love the Canadian Olympic commercial and I hope that all people will one day have the same rights. 


Monday, February 10, 2014

Into each life a little rain must fall, or some crap like that

  Last week was a little crazy. Since Hailey moved home I am finally finishing the upstairs so there is plenty of room for her and the baby. This means that the room I tore apart four years ago will finally be a real bedroom again!

  Joe is doing a great job and I'm chomping at the bit to get it finished and post pictures of it on my blog. I'm so excited but what is not exciting is the construction dirt. The walls in that room had to be sanded and textured, a lot! Poor Joe! That was a lot of work! And now, the whole house is coated with a white film and everything is gritty. I can't wait for it to be done so I can clean the house.

   On top of the construction we are having a bit of a pre spring thaw. It's been in the forties, raining a little, the snow is melting, birds are singing and my backyard is full of mud and dog poop. Since it's raining I can't clean up the dog poop.

   So now my house is full of drywall dust, mud and dog poop. Yay me, hopefully soon, the upstairs will be done, the house will be clean, the yard will dry out and I will find my sanity somewhere under all the crafty things we are doing for Hailey's baby shower.


Friday, February 7, 2014

Homemade housewarming gifts

   One of my resolutions this year is to give more handmade gifts. I want to give a piece of my heart with every gift I give. Sometimes it's not possible, but when it is, I want to do it.

    I know two people who are moving into new places so that means housewarming gifts. I was going to run to the store and put together a basket of kitchen towels, candles, spices, maybe a plant. Then  I remembered my resolution.

    Sometimes it's hard to give handmade gifts because not everyone appreciates them, but I took a chance and I'm glad I did.

    One of the people moving is my niece Kayla. Kay is newly married and has the cutest little boy. She is very conscientious about what she feeds her family and the things they are exposed to, I knew she would appreciate an all natural gift.

   After some web searching I decided to make a gift for them that I already use and love, laundry sauce. A while ago I started making my own laundry detergent. When you look at the ingredients in regular detergent, it's not hard to make the decision to go homemade.

   Making your own laundry detergent is not only cheaper and healthier, it's better for your skin and the environment.

   I've tried several different recipes for homemade laundry detergent and while I liked the detergent I didn't like having a five gallon bucket of detergent in my laundry room. I kept searching and found one that I like and is super concentrated., Mom's Super Laundry Sauce. It's quick, easy, smells wonderful and you can store 128 load of laundry sauce in two quart mason jars.

    I didn't really make any changes other than instead of grating my soap I cut it in chunks and heated it in the microwave instead. I love when the soap gets fluffy, plus it's easier than all that grating, just heat if for 30 seconds at a time until it's all fluffy then let it cool and crumble it in the boiling water.

    The website even has cute little tags you can print off, then all you have to do is grab some ribbon and your gift is complete.

  We were out of homemade laundry detergent and Hailey needed to wash some baby clothes so she ran out and bought some Dreft to wash his clothes in. I was floored. First of all, it was $12 for 32 loads of laundry and has almost an identical ingredient list to other "non baby" laundry detergents, including fragrance.

     The homemade detergent has three ingredients, no fragrance and costs about $1.76 for 128 loads. Glad we have this option for washing anything that will be next to that sweet baby's skin.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

It's hard fixing the world

  Usually when I think about what I want to write here, I want to make you laugh. I don't feel much like laughing today. Nothing is wrong, but something is wrong. Does that make sense?

  I'm  finding more and more that there is something missing from my life and I'm trying to fix it by being in control and always fixing everything around me. Maybe then I won't notice that I need fixing more than anything.

  I recently started attending a new church. I've gone there a few times in the past but didn't really connect with the pastor. They have a new pastor now so I thought I would try again.  I got online to try to find out what time the service was but it wasn't listed, I thought it was 10:30 so I decided to go at 10:15 and be either 15 minutes early or 15 minutes late, whatever.

   I was right about the time so I was early. I made sure to let the pastor's wife know the time was not on the website. I spent the entire service making a list of things that could be done to "improve" the church.

   It wasn't until I was home that I realized, the church is perfect the way it is, I just need to stop fixing things that aren't broken in an attempt to ignore what is really broken.

    So, this is a month of change for me. Big changes. I'm going to do some things I've never done, take some chances that never seemed possible, and try to fix what is missing.

    I bought a question a day journal several years ago and writing in it every night I see the same things repeated over and over again. For the last two years changes have been needed but I've been comfortable and knew that the changes I need would not be comfortable,so nothing has changed. That stops now.

    March 1st I will be on the road to find out who I am, where I'm going and what is really important to me. These changes may not seem dramatic or scary to anyone else but they will take away my stability and security, and those are things that I've always needed above just about  anything else.

    As it gets closer, I'll talk about it more, for now, I'm getting excited that I'm going to fix me instead of the rest of the world.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Leave your men at home, they know not what they do

 Saturday I went grocery shopping. Not a problem unless you are somewhere people are anticipating the Superbowl. Which is pretty much anywhere in the U.S. I have to say, it was not my favorite and then people started pissing me off.

   First of all, men should not be allowed to grocery shop if the only time they go is when they want food for a football game. Men who are not regular shoppers don't know the rules. As a public service I'm going to list the rules, please print these out and hang them on the fridge if your husband is a once a year, football food shopper.

   Rule 1: No one likes when you bring all six of your kids to the grocery store and then forget that they are with you in the rush to get the last package of cocktail wienies for your famous pigs in a blanket. Especially when one of those children has forgotten that she was recently potty trained.

   Rule 2: The aisles are just wide enough for two carts to pass each other, respect oncoming traffic. I saw at least four men settle their carts against the shelves on one side and then stand in front of the shelves on the other side, oblivious to the traffic jam they created in both directions.

  Rule 3:  Shopping is not a contact sport. Just because we are shopping for football food does not mean it is appropriate to use your larger size to intercept the package of ribs I'm putting in my cart.

  Rule 4: Stay the hell home. Your wife is perfectly capable of buying you food like she does the other 51 weeks of the year, she doesn't need your help, unless you want to start the laundry or change that baby from Rule 1.

    I'm kidding, of course, but it was super annoying. I'm from Maryland and the last time I experienced this kind of crazy shopping was when they were calling for over two inches of snow. Some of the shelves where empty in the rush for football food and  I'm still curious to find out what someone did with 30 boxes of brown sugar Frosted Mini Wheats, sweet tea and Ziplock bags.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Grandson update

   Holy crap! Hailey reminded me on Sunday that this is February, so in two months we are going to have a baby in the house. It's closer to three months since he is due the end of April but it's still a little freaky!

   Yesterday was Hailey's regularly scheduled checkup. She's had a rough time of it lately. Her feet are swelling, she's not sleeping, she's been vomiting again, the stretch marks are taking over, her back hurts and she is just uncomfortable all the time. The doctor diagnosed her with third trimester pregnancy.

   I feel for her, I really do, but no one said it was all fun and games. The doctor said little man is growing like he should and basically everything she is feeling is normal and is only going to get worse before it gets better.

   We are slowly getting ready for this little guy. The bedrooms are being remodeled, moved around and redecorated. The shower plans are in the works. In a couple weeks Hailey starts her parenting, breastfeeding and birthing classes.

   With all the resources available to her, Hailey will be better prepared than I was, or the millions of women who came before me. What I need now are grandparenting classes.

   I want to be involved but not take over. I can be a bit of a control freak, surprising I know, and I don't want to interfere with Hailey's parenting.

  It's going to be hard with them living in the house with me, I'm going to want to "help" and "make things easier" and "let Hailey rest." I need to remind her that it's ok to tell me to go walk the dog or something.

  I need to remind myself that she can do this. Women have been raising babies since the beginning of time and they have all been doing it without my interference help, so can she. My girl is gonna rock at this Momma thing.

Monday, February 3, 2014

It's a long wait for football, I should probably get a hobby.

 Yesterday was Superbowl Sunday, in case you were living under a rock or something. I love football, I may have mentioned that I named my daughter after a quarterback.

  I was disappointed that my team didn't make it to the big game so I decided to stay home, watch the game and maybe sew a little.

  I still needed guacamole, after all, it's football. We were going to get some hot wings but since Hailey had been nauseous since 4am, hot wings were better left out.

  The dogs had been driving me crazy all day long, especially Marcy. The thing about border collies is they need a job. If they don't have a job they pretty much make everyone around them crazy. I decided to teach her to make guacamole.

   I know what you're thinking, opposable thumbs and all, but she quietly laid at my feet the whole time I was describing the process to her. It was the only time all day she had been still. Maybe listening is her job.

    I learned something about myself by describing the process out loud- I have no idea what I'm doing. The instructions went something like this:

   "After the avocados are mashed up  add some chili's, not the whole can, just as much as you need. Then add lime juice, how much? As much as you need. Don't forget the Parmesan cheese, except we don't call it Parmesan it's parkenjon cheese because that's what Tony called it when he was little. How much parkenjon cheese? As much as you need."

   How much exactly is as much as you need? No idea. Anyway, the guacamole was made in time for the big game. And just so you know- when the dog makes guacamole she uses too much salt so you might want to keep an eye on that.



Friday, January 31, 2014

Ever heard of a scaredy dog?

   I live with two of the most insecure dogs in the world. I think they are secure in our love, it's just the rest of the world they don't know about.

   I thought it was just Clementine, and I could kind of understand it, at eleven pounds the world must look big and scary. Then when she lost her eye it became even scarier, that's why we put the googly eye on her. She was not impressed.

   Clementine is a nervous wreck. The wind blows too hard, she shits where she stands. I'm not kidding, I wish I was. She will actually stand in the middle of the floor, shaking, and empty her bowels. Fun times.

   Some of the things she is afraid of include, rain, wind, music, any type of beeping noise, and bacon frying.

   Then we got Marcy. Considering that she was bigger at 8 weeks old than Clem was full grown, we thought she would be brave. She is not.

    Some of the things Marcy is afraid of include buses, trucks, cardboard and Clementine. If I don't want Marcy to go in to a room I just put cardboard on the floor in  the doorway, she will not step on it. If you hit two cardboard tubes together Marcy will run and hide.

     She is also afraid of water and freeway traffic, which I found out on a two and a half hour drive to Idaho. I spent the whole ride trying to keep this 65 pound dog from climbing in my lap or behind my back. My shoulder may never be the same.

    When the wind blows and a truck goes by and I have a 65 pound dog on top of my head and 11 pound dog shitting at my feet, I question my choices.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

What's in a name?


 I need some help. My grandson will be here soon and I can't decide what he should call me. My mother says it doesn't matter, he will call me what he wants, but I don't want to leave it up to an infant, I need to be ready!

   My parents are Nan Nan and Pop Pop to the kids. My sisters are both Nanny to their grandson's, and I don't know who I want to be.

   I know I don't want to be grandma- that's not me, so what are my choices? I've made a list of some I like and some that have been mentioned.

Bubbie- this is my number one favorite, I think it's cute and easy for the baby to say. Hailey says it sounds like a Jewish grandmother and we are not Jewish.

Mimi- at first I though this was cute then my mother reminded me of Mimi from the Drew Carrey show and that is all I see now when I think of that name.

Mom Mom- not my favorite but it works for some people.

Maw Maw- this is Hailey's favorite, from Raising Hope, it's what they call Cloris Leachman and Hailey says I am as crazy as she is. I don't think so. Me Maw and Maw Maw both remind me of a tobacco chewing woman with no shoes, bad eyes who gums all her food. Ok, so that describes me except for the tobacco chewing and the teeth I paid for but whatever.

Grammy- this one is cute but I don't want it to be grandma one day.

Granny- I used to love this, now it reminds me that I'm going to need a pacemaker soon.

  Give me some ideas people, these names are not doing it for me. I want something cute, easy for the baby to say, that doesn't make me sound like I'm ancient.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The sound of music

   My family is very musical. Not me, just my family. They pay me not to sing or participate in anything musical. The only place I'm allowed to sing is church because those people are not my family and therefore not quite as honest.

    My daughter and my niece both love to sing and have very beautiful voices. It's my favorite thing about having one of them live with me, they are always singing.

    Going on road trips with the kids in my family is so much fun, because they all sing along to everything, and make a production of it, even in the car.

    On Saturday Hailey and I had my niece's baby for the day. Neko is the happiest little guy but he was a little sleepy in the car so he was crying. I tried talking to him, humming a little bit, talking louder, nothing worked until Hailey started singing.

   Kayla sang to Neko the whole time she was pregnant and as soon as Hailey started singing one of those songs Neko settled right down and went to sleep.

  It's amazing to watch. Neko is completely soothed by songs that his Momma sings to him. Hailey sings to her little man all the time and there will be songs that he will instantly recognize, I'm looking forward to seeing that.

  When Hailey was little I sang to her all the time. Her father said I wasn't singing her to sleep, she was going to sleep in self defense but it didn't matter. Even though I am tone deaf and can't carry a tune, it still soothed my baby.

  Of course as soon as she was a bit older she would demand I not sing to her, but it was nice while it lasted. I can't wait to sing to my grandson, I'm going to sing old gospel songs to him just like my grandmother did to all of us. I'm so looking forward to being his crazy grandmother!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Pregnancy craziness

  When I was pregnant I slept with a lot of pillows, one under my head, one between my knees, one propping up the belly and one behind my back to keep me from rolling on to it.

    They tell you now not to sleep on your back because it's bad for circulation or something when you are pregnant, for me, it was the turtle effect. If I rolled on my back there was very real possibility I would be stuck there until someone found me, arms and legs waving in the air, trying not to pee the bed.

  Now, because we are gullible and someone is milking us out of a fortune, you need a pregnancy pillow. I had never even heard of such a thing until Hailey started talking about it. She couldn't wait to get her pregnancy pillow.

   Payday rolls around and Hailey brings home a box with what looks like a stuffed snake coiled up in it. What in the Sam hell is this and how do you work it?

   We pulled it out of the box and Hailey laid on the couch so we could figure it out. I tried to position it like the lady on the box was using it but Hailey kept pulling it this way and that.

     Really, who needs a pillow that you need a degree in engineering to use? Hailey finally got frustrated with my insistence that she was doing it wrong, and stomped up to her room, dragging her weird pillow with her.

    I guess pregnancy pillows are useful, Hailey says it's the first time she's slept through the night in a while. It's a trade off though, the damn thing cost as much as my first car, but considering how cranky she is when she doesn't get enough sleep, it may have saved my life.

    Pregnancy pillows, belly butter, prenatal vitamins, belly bands, the list goes on and on. Now the list for the mom to be is almost as long as the list you need for the new baby! Makes me almost glad I'm on the pacemaker side of life.


Monday, January 27, 2014

How old am I anyway?

 It's the little things that sneak up on me and remind me that I am no longer 20. Usually they are in relation to someone else and I think to myself, man, how old are they anyway? Then I remember, we went to high school together.

 This happened recently with a man who was my "boyfriend" several times in my life, starting in preschool. I was quite the little vixen, I had two boys who loved me and I was something special with my pigtails and my nap mat. David held my hand at nap time and Johnny opened the bus door for me at the end of the day.

  In fourth grade, David was my "boyfriend" again. Although in fourth grade boys didn't really like girls so the extend of our relationship was me pining for him from afar and running away giggling anytime he looked in my direction.

  At sixteen we had this boyfriend/girlfriend thing figured out- it meant lots of making out behind the grocery store. Sadly, our love was not meant to be. We drifted apart and married others. Preschool love never lasts.

  Now, thanks to modern technology we are friends again. Facebook doesn't care about the 2,000 miles between us and we can talk whenever we want, or not, which is usually the case.

  The other day he had the batteries in his pacemaker replaced. I spit my coffee all over my desk. What the hell was he doing in preschool with me?  Seriously, how many times was he held back? He couldn't have been four because that would mean that I am old enough for a pacemaker and I certainly am not! I really need to find out who ran that preschool and give them a piece of my mind! He must be at least 70 now.

  Sadly, he's not, we are the same age, I may even be a month or two older. I don't understand the pacemaker but apparently he's had it since 2007.

  Now, I'm trying to decide if I should get one. I mean, is it the in thing for people my age? Am I really coming to the age where my Facebook posts are going to be about my aches, pains and bowel habits? Damn.

  I guess I better order my walker and depends so I'm ready. Oh, if you comment on this post, write loud, I think my hearing may be going too.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Do not drink the water, fish pee in it.

  For the longest time I would see the cutest baby things to make and wish someone, anyone would have a baby so I would have an excuse to make them.

   Now, I think they've poisoned the waterhole because there are babies everywhere. I know four people who are due in the next six months.

   I love babies but this may be pregnancy overload. On the bright side, I don't have to live with all of them.

   The one I do live with is prone to, in her words, "getting up on the wrong side of a nap and just wanting to cry and eat ice cream covered in salt."

    You people wonder why I sleep with the door locked.

     So, I get to make baby stuff, lots and lots of baby things. This week I made burp cloths, bibs, and a baby quilt. My friend Rainy's daughter is due the beginning of February so I had to get her gifts in the mail.

     The best part about that is I was able to use a few of those 22 receiving blankets Hailey has to make the burp cloths.

     This week I'm working on more super cute baby stuff because my great nephew will be one next month and I have some cute ideas for his gift.

       What are your favorite things to make for new babies?

Thursday, January 23, 2014

You got fired for what??

Smokey: You got to be a stupid $%#$%#$%#% to get fired on your day off.

  No, I didn't get fired but there's always tomorrow, right?

     Seriously though, at work today we were talking about some of the people we have worked with in the past and the reasons they were "invited to be successful elsewhere." That's what my new boss says and it makes me want to karate chop his throat every time I hear it.

       Without further ado, or digs at my boss, here is Thursday's you must be an idiot list.

Best Reasons Ever For Getting Fired
  1. Drinking cough syrup with codeine out of the bottle at your desk like it's water. 
  2. Having the SWAT team barge in, dressed in full bullet proof gear, over something you posted to Facebook. ( Just an FYI, do not threaten the police on social media.)
  3. Putting things into your schedule like "2 pm, scratch my balls." ( I wish I was kidding)
  4. Work a second job three floors down at the same time you are working on our floor.
  5. Make naughty calls to your mistress that are recorded and accidentally played back when training new employees.
  6. Watching porn at work because you figured out how to get past the content filter but not the tracking software.
  7. Banging your head on your desk because you are on drugs. 
  8. Sleeping at your desk.
  9. Dying. (She didn't actually get fired but her bitch of a boss wanted to fire her for not calling in until they found out she was dead)
  10. Eating your coworkers lunch out of the fridge, every, single day, until they catch you. ( his chosen defense? If you don't put your name on it, it's fair game)

      I always wonder what these people tell their spouses when they go home, and what they say in a job interview when asked why they left their last company.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I'm looking forward to Spring....maybe

    Spring is my favorite time of year. I love that everything is new and fresh. This Spring is going to be even more wonderful because my grandson will be here.

    Recently we had a bit of a thaw so I got a little preview of what Spring will be like with a big dog, and it ain't pretty.

  That's my sliding glass door, the one I look out of to see all the pretty flowers. The pretty flowers that apparently Marcy likes to eat. I think she has dug up and eaten every one of my iris bulbs.  I guess they must not be poisonius because the flower eating traitor is still staring at me, waiting to be let out again.

  My yard is so small, now that Marcy is full grown I don't think I'm going to have any grass. When the snow melted there were landmines everywhere and once I cleaned them up Marcy ran a pattern around the yard. That's where the mud on the door came from.

   I've heard we are in the middle of a drought here in Utah. I would like to offer all the melting snow in my yard. Someone please take it because it I have to mop these floors one more time that dog and I may have a problem.

  On the bright side, I certainly am glad I got rid of the carpet. It's much easier to mop up her muddy marks than it would be to shampoo them out of the carpet.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

My how time flies when you don't want to go to the doctor

  I used to be so good about my doctors visits. Every year, like clockwork, when my birthday rolled around, I scheduled a visit with my doctor. I was always super vigilant about getting "the tires rotated and the oil changed." Somehow I fell off that bandwagon.

  I'm not sure how it happened but when Hailey went to see her OB, who is also my gyno, I said to the nurse, "When did you guys move here?" She looked at me like I was from another planet and said, "Several years ago."

  Has it really been several years since I've had my tires rotated?  I went home and looked on the paper with the results of my last blood work and the date on it was 3/17/2009. Holy crap!!

  In my defense ( cause it can't possibly be my fault) I was trying to find a new family doctor and the woman I went to made a rude remark that offended me and she appeared to be trying not to laugh through my whole visit. There's more to the story, but I'll leave it there.

  Anyway, I got a little pissy about it and just never went back. So now, five years later, not only do I need to go to the doctor, but I'll be 50 this year. I think you know where this is going.

  So today I'm going to a new family doctor to get a physical and all my blood work done and also a referral so I can get my boobs smushed and my bottom violated.

   Doesn't 50 sound like it's gonna be fun?

Monday, January 20, 2014

Apparently compulsive eyebrow rubbing is not the lucky charm


 I'm a 49ers fan. Have been for years. So much so that my only child received the middle name Montana.
   I love football, all football. Usually  if the 49ers aren't doing well I pick my team by the quarterback, I love quarterbacks. I'm not disappointed that the Bronco's are going to the Superbowl because Peyton Manning is their quarterback, I've loved him since he was a Colt.

  What does this have to do with compulsive eyebrow rubbing? Apparently, when I'm stressed, like during a football game, I rub my eyebrows. During a game recently Hailey noticed and asked me what I was doing. Then she was mad because she does the same thing and isn't happy that my weird habits are hereditary.
Anyway, I thought rubbing my eyebrows was the lucky charm that kept the 49ers in the game. Apparently I was wrong. I no longer have eyebrows and the 49ers are not going to the Superbowl. If you see me, try not to look at the crazy way I've drawn on my eyebrows, I've never been good with makeup.

   On the bright side, Hailey doesn't have to listen to me try to convince her to name her baby Kaepernick.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Everyone has rules about their sheets, right?

 I may have mentioned that Hailey moved back home. We are working things out as two adults living in the same house have to do. I have gotten used to living alone and I like things a certain way.

  Even when Hailey lived at home before we were on different floors in the house so sometimes it still felt like I lived alone.

  On Saturday as she was unpacking and trying to figure out where everything goes she came to her sheets.

"You can just put these with your sheets, we have the same sized bed." Hailey said.
"Ok, but I'll have to tell you the rules for the sheets." That's what I said and continued putting things away. Hailey and Payton started laughing like they were going to bust.

  I asked what was so funny and Hailey asked me what kind of person has rules for their sheets.  Is it really  just me? Doesn't everyone have a rotation for their sheets and towels?

   I have specific rules for my sheets. First of all, I hate for them to match so I have a stack of fitted sheets, a stack of flat sheets, a stack of body pillow pillow cases and two stacks of regular pillow cases. I have a lot of pillows.

  I needed to show her where she should take the things off of each stack. It's a rotation, I tried to explain to her, but being pregnant and laughing, she wound up laughing at me from the bathroom.

  When she came out she was still giving me a hard time about my sheet rotation. I tried to impress upon my wayward daughter how important this is to me. I may have even said, "This is why I'm single, if I had a husband and he messed up the sheet rotation, I'd have to bury him in the backyard."

  Hailey and Payton have decided that I have a problem. I think there may be an intervention in my future.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Twitter is a Jewish mother

No one can guilt you quite like a Jewish mother, the Catholics are close but those Jewish mothers, they know how to make you toe the line, and that's what Twitter feels like to me.

There are so many things wrong with Twitter, I don't even know were to start. Most of all, I just don't get it. It feels like the most one sided conversation ever. And when it's not one sided, I still don't get it. I feel like if I'm not glued to my phone at all times I'm not participating.

I had all the tweets coming to my phone and my battery was dead in an hour and I was hyper ventilating because I felt like I should be responding but I had nothing to say! Oh no, I'm the worst follower ever!Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!

I realize all these people posting are not sitting around wondering why I'm not replying or retweeting or favoriting or whatever it is I'm supposed to do, I still feel guilty.

I mean, they are putting it out there for all the world, of course they want a response. It is my responsibility as a follower to respond, it kind of strokes their egos right? I should do that, right? Well I don't.

I tried actively tweeting for a while, but it made no sense to me. I  tried reading other people's tweets and I found myself getting upset. First of all, the grammar makes my eyes bleed. Also, mean girls, every-freaking-where. I can't stand all this bashing of this person, you're too fat, you're too skinny, you have a big nose and on and on and on. I feel guilty just reading it.

I have a Twitter feed, I follow people on Twitter because everyone wants people to follow them, it's like being popular in high school. Here's the thing, if I'm following you, I'm not reading a word you tweet. Please don't expect a reply, I follow only to boost your followers, not because I want to stress myself out trying to stay up to date with your tweets. I really can't handle the guilt so you should know right now, I'll follow but I won't pay attention.

The picture at the top of this page, from Two Broke Girls sums up perfectly how I feel about Twitter. Instagram on the other hand,  I love, and I always look at your pictures and read what you write, cause I can read, but I do love pictures.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

How many blankets does one baby need?

  When Hailey moved home the first thing she did was organize all the baby stuff that has been given to her. Until I finish my master bedroom she and the baby will be sharing a room so it has to be organized.

   On Saturday she did three loads of laundry, for the baby. Someone who isn't even born yet may already have more laundry than I do.

   Hailey has been fortunate, she knows several people who have recently had babies and Hailey has been the lucky recipient of their hand me downs.

   As she washed the laundry she was making a list of everything she already has so she would know what she didn't need to put on her shower registry. When everything was said and done we discovered she already had 22 receiving blankets. 22. How many babies is she having?

   It's funny in a way, and sad in other ways. I think about all the people who have babies with no money or support, who would love to have one receiving blanket, and Hailey has 22.  We will be finding new homes for the majority of those, there is an emergency family shelter close to us, I'm sure they could use them.

  Just another example of how truly blessed we are, even though it doesn't always seem that way. I really need to remember to count all of my blessings, even if they come disguised as receiving blankets.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I realize I still have stuff to say... I hope someone is still listening

  For a long time I stopped blogging.  When my friend Krissy died blogging started to feel so narcissistic. I started thinking that other people had real problems, real things going on in their lives and here I am writing this little blog about my life. What am I doing?

  Blogging felt selfish and self centered. I was upset with myself for not doing anything important, so I pretty much stopped blogging.

   Well, I'm still pushing myself to do more, to be more, to help more, to stop thinking that life is all about me. But I like blogging. I like writing, I like reading what other people write, I like commenting and reading comments. I like getting to know people that I would otherwise have never met.

  So I'm back, again. I'm changing things a little, I was so over all that pink. I like the new colors, it feels kind of retro, like my kitchen, and like what I'm looking for in my life.

   I've worked so many hours a day for so many years that I'm looking for a way to slow that down. To find something I love to do instead of something that pays the bills. It would be wonderful if that thing would allow me to give to others at the same time.

   In the meantime I'm putting a strong defining line between my job and my life. My job is not who I am, so who am I? I started this blog with that very same question, and I'm still searching. Hopefully, I'll figure it out, or at least find some beauty in the journey.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Organization is futile, give up now

 I publicly shamed myself, on here and on Facebook a week or so ago. My craft room was out of control and in need of some serious organization. I figured if I showed everyone how bad it was, I would do something about it.

 I worked all weekend and every day after work. I folded every single piece of fabric I own. I made these little bolts out of cardboard to wrap the fabric around, they worked perfectly.

  Then I organized them in plastic storage drawers by color, aren't they lovely?

  I made little storage bins for all my random scrap that are too small for much but too big to throw away. They even have a little window. Also, I may drink too much coffee.

  I made a little organizer for my scissors and pens and other miscellaneous stuff that lives on my sewing machine. I will cover it will some pretty scrapbook paper but I didn't want to get sidetracked.

  I used a curtain rod to store all my ribbons and tape so they would be easily accessible.

  I put everything in bins and containers it was all organized and pretty. Doesn't it look lovely?

  I closed the door Wednesday evening, secure in the knowledge that now I can easily find things. My crafting life is in order. The sun is shining, birds are singing, life is good.

  Then, the very next day, I am not kidding, the very next freaking day, my daughter tells me she needs to come home.

  You may remember that my daughter is pregnant. The basement is chilly, and there are spiders. The master bedroom is still in the process of being remodeled. What's the other option? That's right, my lovely, organized craft room.

  Saturday she moved back in which means my craft room moved to the basement. It now looks like this.

  My only consolation is that everything is organized, I just need to find places for it all in the basement now instead of in the craft room. It has always been  my plan to move my craft room to the basement, but that was after painting and new carpet and some other improvements. But hey, who doesn't want a purple and pink craft room?

  Guess that's what I get for organizing, I hope I learned  my lesson.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Today was not my favorite

 It snowed today. Nothing new for Utah or pretty much anywhere in Winter, but I had to say it anyway. My pregnant daughter is going through some difficult stuff right now, she if fine, baby is fine, emotionally she is a bit of a wreck.

  Then to make it all better, someone slid into my car on the snowy roads. The car that was transporting my pregnant daughter.

  So, yeah, today, you suck, tomorrow will be better.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

My sense of smell is killing me.

So I quit smoking. Yes, I know I've done it before but it seems to be sticking this time. Hailey and I both quit when she found out she was pregnant. It's been wonderfully freeing and I'm having a much different experience this time than I've had in the past.
  When I quit smoking in the past I was still surrounded by people who smoke. This time the only time I'm around people who smoke is when I go out to the bar with friends. I can totally tell the difference.

  On the plus side, I'm not spending money on cigarettes, I'm still spending it, just not on cigarettes. I also do not have to huddle outside in the freezing cold with the other smokers and my garage no longer smells like the bottom of an ashtray.

  Now for the bad thing- my sense of smell is insane. I had to stop buying my favorite Bath and Body Works lotion because the smell is so overpowering. Smells that I've loved in the past make my nose burn and I can tell if someone who recently smoked a cigarette walked down the aisle in the grocery store before I did. Also, I have to go back to homemade laundry detergent because the smell of the store bought kind is too much for me now.

  I can live with all of those things, but the smell of electronics is making me crazy! I have a little, tiny 19 inch flat screen TV. I can't stand to have it plugged in because of the smell it gives off, even when it's turned off.

 Is it just me? Can you guys smell these things? Have you been smelling them all your life? How do you deal with all these smells? I'm hoping for a cold so I can get a break.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Hoarder Shaming

 My name is Carol and I'm a craft supply hoarder. I posted this picture to Facebook on Saturday to shame myself into finishing the job I was losing interest in.

  See, on top of being more than a little OCD about most things in life, when it comes to crafting my ADHD truly shines. I can't focus, I start one thing, and before I know it I have four new projects, and all the debris that goes with them. Not to mention the ten thousand unfinished projects I have laying around.

  That's why I never put anything away. I need it, to finish this, or that, or start something else.

  So instead of putting things away, I close the door. Fiddle-dee-dee, I'll worry about it tomorrow. But tomorrow, I will find yet another project to start.

  I gotta stop! I'm fortunate enough to have a craft room, it deserves some organization. This is my first major project of the year and I'm making it public so I have to finish it. The really scary thing is that since Hailey left home to grow a human of her own I have a total of four rooms that I can fill with craft supplies.

  I may need an intervention. I'll let you know. On the bright side, the room is coming together. I hope to have a post about my stunning organizational skills by the end of the weekend.

  Oh, and to shame myself further, that picture was taken after spending eight, count 'em, 8!! hours organizing fabric.

   And hey, I found a basket of clean towels that I thought were lost forever and Ivy's pajama bottoms that I haven't seen since August. And a few Christmas presents that I forgot I bought, but it's ok, they were edible, and I'm eating them. Getting organized one bite at a time.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Lessons from that crazy dog

I woke up this morning and when I let the dogs out I was greeted by about two inches of new snow. Great, gotta shovel. I made my coffee and read some blogs, putting off going outside to shovel. The whole time this face was staring at me:

Marcy loves the snow, she loves everything about it. She will run with her head down, making tunnels with her snout and then she jumps in the air like a deer, but my favorite thing is when she is running with her tongue sticking out like she is trying to catch snowflakes.

Watching Marcy play and the snow doesn't seem so bad. I could learn a lot from that dog. She has no expectations, she believes everything is wonderful, today is an adventure, this minute is marvelous.

I  believe I need to be more like my dog. Happy, grateful, silly and playful. Not the one eyed one of course, she still thinks I'm an embarrassment.

Friday, January 3, 2014

You may have a craft addiction....

There are so many things to make. Pinterest is evil! If I spend one minute on Pinterest I find ten things I. Must. Make.Now. Of course, the only way I could possibly do all the cute things on Pinterest would be to become a "kept" woman. Just quit my job and craft all day, never worry about paying a bill or mowing a lawn. Yeah, right!

Our Christmas was very quiet, just Hailey, Mason and I. For some insane reason Hailey still insists on getting up at 5am. This year it made me smile. I know next year she will have to wait patiently for the baby to wake up because by December she will know better than to wake a sleeping baby. Then she will have a few years that she will have to wait for the little one to get up but then come the years when she will be up half the night putting things together, wrapping, stuffing stockings, only to close her eyes for five minutes before he wakes up. Kinda makes me giggle, paybacks are coming little Momma.

Anyway, all of that was to so I could say that after Hailey opened her gifts, she went back to sleep. There was nothing for me to do but craft, so I made these:

Hailey and I then spent the weekend making phone covers. Fun and cute! Since we are being blessed with two little boys this spring I made them matching blankets, silky on one side, minky on the other.

And, last but not least, my headstart on next years Christmas gifts. My brother has been  a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan since he was little, so when I saw  this little project on Dollar Store Crafts I knew I had to make them. Here is my version. Forgive the crappy pictures, I'm a blogger not a photographer, I know it's cool to be both but I'm not.

That's it for now. I hope to post more crafts and even a few tutorials in the future. My blog needs a make over, the pink is not doing it for me anymore but that is a project for another day!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

One Little Word

Happy 2014! Holy crap, that was fast. Everyone makes resolutions for the new year and I'm no different. I usually make and break them in one day. Then I have 364 days until I have to do it again- that one day of living my resolutions is tough!

This year I'm doing something different, I hope it helps, no, I"m going to believe it will help. This year I'm participating in One Little Word and the word I've chosen is Believe. I know that seems kind of cliche but my greatest weakness is that I don't believe in myself.

Many of the things that I don't do, that I would like to do, I just don't do because I don't believe that my attendance, participation, help, etc., matters or makes a difference.

I believe I can change that. I am going to start believing in myself, start believing that I matter, that I'm important and that I can make a difference. I'm not saying that because I'm having a pity party, I think most of us feel that way, at least a little. We have no idea what our impact is on anything. This year, I'm going to find out.

So far I have signed up for two volunteer opportunities, one at a museum and the other tutoring English. I have the time so I'll give the time and I believe it will make a difference.

I'll let you know how it goes, I have plans for how believe will affect all areas of my life, my health, my happiness, my relationships, my faith and my creativity.

For now, I'll just believe. Some days, that alone, will be enough.