Saturday, February 25, 2012

You might be a redneck

I'm so frustrated right now! I used to have really good neighbors but then they moved. The house on the north side of me is a rental so I never know who's going to live there and the people who are there now are white trash from hell!

Now before you go thinking I'm being too judgemental you should know, I am from the wrong side of the tracks. In my family our rich relatives live in the double wide, so I recognize my own. Having said that, these people are pissing me off!

It's just little things but they are starting to add up. First there are about eight adults and multiple children living in this tiny little house, not my business, I couldn't care less who lives together. The thing that is annoying is all the vehicles taking up the street. They have so many cars that when people come to my house they have to park around the corner.

Which brings up another issue, trash cans, there is no where to put the trash cans on trash day except at the end of the driveway. Each house has a trash can, a recycling can and a green waste can. If the trash is not sorted correctly the trucks will not pick it up. The neighbors use my trash cans, I don't care about that, as long as they put the right thing in the right can, no skin off my nose if their cans are full and mine aren't. However, I've gone out to take my trash out and found my cans full of their kids broken toys. I tossed them back over the fence into their yard. I have a strip of gravel between my driveway and the fence, that's where I put my trash cans, but not anymore.

I forgot to put the trash out Monday night so Tuesday morning before work I went to take the cans to the curb. When I opened my garage door my driveway was full of trash. The neighbors were tossing their trash over the fence into my trash cans and some of the bags wound up in my driveway and split open. So at six o'clock in the morning I was picking up the neighbors trash. They also filled my recycling bin with their trash and also my green waste can, which I haven't even used because they only pick those up from April to October.

So now I have to put the trash cans in my garage, that should smell wonderful when it warms up. Also, these people are killing my property value. They recently built an enclosed room on their deck for smoking. This is the picture of that room.

As if the outhouse with the satellite dish in the backyard wasn't bad enough.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Which way to the nursing home?


Well, it's happened. Terrie is going to have to take care of me and Angie, we are both too senile to live alone.

Yesterday I was writing a blog post for Families.com and I was comparing moving the contents of one room of my house to another to a game of musical chairs. Except I couldn't remember what that game was called. I had to google -children's game involving music and chairs- you would think just typing that out would remind me, but no, I had to wait for Google's answer.

In my defense it's been a lot of years since I played musical chairs. If I was comparing my house to beer pong I would have had no trouble remembering.

It was all good, everyone had a good laugh at my expense, mostly because I put my stupidity on Facebook for everyone to see. It's important here that you remember Angie (my youngest sister) had a good laugh at my expense.

So today at work we were reminded of the Jello potluck. Only in Utah would you celebrate National Jello Week with a jello potluck. On the way home from work Angie and I stopped so she could get the ingredients for her potluck dish- jello of course.

After I got home my phone rang, it was my sister, Angie.

"Hi sister, look, these directions are confusing me."

"Umm, you are confused about how to make jello?"

"I know, it's only three sentences so I'm probably over thinking it, but I'm confused."

I couldn't stop laughing, this from the sister who made fun of me for not remembering the name of musical chairs. I told her to step away from the jello and meet me outside, it's time we turned ourselves in. I'm not sure the nursing home knows we've escaped.

Now in my sisters defense, we are not from Utah, and we are not a jello family. I don't actually remember ever being served Jello so it's not her fault. The only jello we know anything about comes in little white paper cups and has alcohol in it.

All I can say is I hope Terrie is ready for us, we really can't be trusted alone anymore.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Whose fault is this?

   So Hailey moved out. She has abandoned me to live with her boyfriend. I can't believe it either. The nerve of that kid! We started moving her on Wednesday and I got the cold from hell, I was pretty much a walking ball of mucus and soreness. I kind of wanted someone to kill me or at least let me go home and stop moving boxes. Since neither was happening I toughed it out and helped her move.

  Once she was out, in between uncontrollable crying jags (not really but I want her to feel guilty when she reads this) I started thinking about what my house would look like with Hailey gone.

  That's when the clouds parted and the sun shone in because never again would all my dishes be in her room with science projects growing on them. Never again would I have to make a path to the washer and dryer. Never again would I go in the bathroom and find the toilet paper on the back of the tank because I'm the only one who knows how to replace it. Never again would there be 25 half empty soda cans calling all the neighborhood bugs to my house.


If I had felt better I would have done a little happy dance since I didn't I started re planning my use of the house. Hailey has had the basement for a while so I decided to move all my crafts down there and move my bed into the craft room instead of in the little tiny spare bedroom.

Of course, all of this will have to wait for another day because, as I may have mentioned, I'm  a walking ball of mucus.

Today after taking the kids grocery shopping and helping them get the last of their boxes unpacked I came home to enjoy the Super Bowl. I thought I might make some baby quilts while I was watching and somehow, during the course of the football game my craft room has now taken over my entire house.

 The picture above is my family room, no that is not a homeless person sleeping on the couch, that's more fabric, in case I needed it. I'm just glad it's too dark to see into the kitchen, Clementine still needs to do the dishes, just as soon as I get her some opposable thumbs.