Saturday, November 3, 2012

I'm back, I think, no promises though

Hello all two people who read this blog. I know it's been freaking forever since I put something up here but, you know what? Blogs have started to bore me.

I'm so tired of listening to how tough everyone's life is, what an idiot their husbands are and mostly, what whiny bitches everyone has become. Life is tough, suck it up buttercup. I'm pretty sure your mother told you life wasn't fair and if she didn't, get in the car, drive to her house and kick her in the damn shins cause as soon as you take the pacifier away you need to tell your child that life is not fair. If you still have a pacifier, that explains a lot.

Life is hard, sometimes it sucks. Get over it. The fact that you are whining about it on the Internet tells me you are better off than most of the world so shut up already.

Now that I'm finished with my little rant I have to tell you what I've been up to. I've been busy as hell! I've been following some amazing blogs where people actually do stuff instead of just whining, so I've been doing stuff! Go me!

Here's the short version- pay attention it will pass quickly-

I flew to Maryland, by myself, layovers and all to see the cutest baby ever! ( People gotta stop having babies, I think they are all the cutest baby ever!)  While there I learned how to open a bottle of wine with a screw and a hammer. This is Declan in his blog debut, just so you know, he managed to pee and poop on me while I was there, he loves me best!

Then my niece decided to come and stay with me until she gives birth to the cutest baby ever!~ ( See what I mean?) So I replaced some floors in my house- they are very lovely and laminate flooring makes you feel like Bob Villa with more beer and less manly scratching.

Then there was a whirlwind of craft projects: stuffed candy corn, a snowman, a gate for the basement stairs, a pumpkin made out of scrapbook paper and a purse.

I know, I know, I'm pretty freaking amazing. Halloween was a riot, Nancy and I were boobs- didn't see that coming did you?

Noah- cutest boy ever- was the cutest pirate ever!

And, on November 17th I'm going to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. It's for charity, I'll totally put out  go on a date for charity. I still have to finish my questionnaire, right now I'm stuck on the song I want to walk out to, it's a toss up between Redneck Woman and Bringing Sexy Back. What do you think?


  1. rod stewarts if you think I'm sexy !!!!!!

  2. Funny mom, you know I had a pacifier until my car was wrecked. And I'd still have one.

  3. My you HAVE been busy! Come on over, I've got plenty of projects that need attention...

    My vote is for Hot Stuff by Donna Summer.

  4. Nice to see you back. Good job on the floor. My 80 year old Dad and I just did the whole floor of my sister's house. Plenty of manly scratching, and groaning and knee-popping. Hope your charitable sacrifice is good for you...


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