Thursday, January 19, 2012
If your best friend is a nurse, find a new best friend
My best friend Trina is a nurse. I know that sounds like a good thing because sometimes they help you, like when you think you have Parkinson's disease but really you're just shaky from too much yard work, then it's a good thing.
Most of the time it's not, because not only is Trina a nurse but she is my official worrier. I never worry about my health because I know Trina is on it.
Last night as I was soundly sleeping, minding my own business, my phone rang, it was Trina. Now when my phone rings when I'm asleep I think there is something wrong with the person on the other end, not me, after all, I was sleeping.
The conversation, as I remember it, went something like this:
Trina- What's wrong?
Me- Ummm, nothing? (I'm not sure what's the right answer, after all, I'm asleep)
Trina- Nothing? What about the numbness? The muddled brain?
Me- Oh that, it's nothing.
Trina- That's not nothing, did you go to the doctor?
Me-No, I slept wrong, except for the brain thing.
Trina- Is your hand still numb?
Me- Ummm, no. ( I'm still asleep, I have no idea really but that seemed like the right answer.)
Trina- You were asleep weren't you?
Trina- Ok, goodnight.
I laid there for about a half an hour, waiting for the ambulance. Trina knows I won't go to the doctor if nothing hurts because in my experience if it doesn't hurt when I get there, it will by the time I leave and I am not signing up for that.
Like that time I fell out of her house and impaled my leg on a post holder. I wouldn't agree to go to the hospital until she showed me her hand and said, "That's meat, from inside your leg, we're going, now."
Anyway, the ambulance didn't come and I fell back to sleep. Today after work, the phone rings, it's Trina. Now because I have the attention span of a gnat, I've forgotten about yesterday, after all, that was like, yesterday.
Trina- So what's going on?
Me- Nothing, just fixing dinner.
Trina- With your hand and your brain.
Me- Oh, that was nothing, I'm fine today.
And then I changed the subject because like me, Trina is easily distracted. It worked, we talked about other things, life is good.
So that is why you shouldn't be friends with a nurse, or if you are, don't let her read your blog.. And by the way, today I have no numbness and my brain has resumed the usual hamster wheel spinning that passes for intelligence around here.