Wednesday, January 11, 2012

E Machine, I hate thee

Disclaimer: I may or may not drop the f bomb more than once in this post, if that's offensive to you, come back tomorrow, there are sure to be unicorns coming out of my ass by then.

Me and electronics have a love/hate relationship. I love them, they hate me. Even though I spend outrageous sums of money on them, still the hate.

My computer, which is not even two years old took a tremendous  dump last night while I was sleeping. Seriously, how can you break a  computer while you are fucking sleeping?

I woke up this morning and came downstairs to this weird screen telling me something was having trouble repairing itself.

Fiddle dee dee, I'll worry about it later Scarlett, and off to work I went. When I came home I begged Alex and bribed him with Subway to fix it, please for the love of God, fix it!

Well, he's done his best and I am able to use it but it's weird, nothing is right and I don't know what to do about it.

The bad part is, now I have nothing to do. All I do when I'm not at work doing that thing they pay me to do, is write. I come home from work, grab a jar of peanut butter, a spoon and a glass of wine and sit in front of the computer.

Now, I have nothing. What do people do without computers? Wash dishes? We're talking about a spoon and a wine glass, not exactly hours of work. I've been pacing, I'm going to need new carpet soon, I'm starting to wear a path in it.

I have a netbook but I hate it, it's too small, it makes everyone on Facebook look like they've lost weight and that's depressing because I'm becoming more and more peanut butter jar shaped. I hate those skinny people on netbook Facebook. I'm going to unfriend them all.

I hate to think it is time already for another computer but I am so dependent on this fucking heartless thing that I don't know what to do without it.

Maybe I'll go to the coffee shop and try to make friends with people who have computers. 

That's all I got, I'm mad and I'm bitchy. Hopefully tomorrow we will return you to your regularly scheduled program of happy shit.


  1. Yikes! If it will work at all try and run a some virus/malware programs - maybe that will help. A couple of really good (free) ones are CCleaner, Windows Defender and Malware Bytes. One of them, CCLeaner I think, will also clean your computers registry - which is really good. Try them, maybe it will help.

    It sucks to be without a computer!

  2. I'm with Gigi. It sounds like some kind of virus is wrestling with your computer. I use the virus software AVG. It's free. But...well crap, you have to have a computer to download it.

    I'm afraid you are going to have to take it to a computer geek and they will probably wipe the thing clean and then reload programs.


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