Tuesday, July 26, 2011

This is a rant- avert your eyes

I hate to be negative, I'm probably one of the happiest people you will ever meet. Hailey has said to me " Mom, you are one of those annoyingly happy people that other people want to punch." Not today. Today, the Momma bear in me is out and she is pissed.

My daughter is getting married, ya'll might have heard about that. Anyway, Hailey and Alex planned on getting married next summer. Then, my darling daughter found herself a little knocked up, so they moved up the date. Perfectly understandable, even if I did lecture them about getting married for the wrong reasons, waiting, it's ok to have a baby and not be married, yada, yada, yada.

Then my baby lost her baby but decided to go ahead with the wedding, and that, friends and neighbors is when things took a turn for the ugly.

I have always tried to be a good ex wife, I felt that it was important for Hailey's well being if her parents got along. I did everything I could to make sure that we got along, including welcoming his girlfriend of the week into my home, all the time, and hosting a Christmas get together so he would have time with his daughters.

My friends and family think I have a few bats in my belfry. I frequently hear, "Why do you do this? He wouldn't do it for you." I know he wouldn't, but I wasnt' doing it for him, I was doing it for Hailey, and later, for her sister Ivy. They were the ones I worried about, not him.

When Hailey told her father they were going ahead with the wedding, he sent me the following text:

If our daughter is no longer pregnant why are you encouraging her to get married?

Has he met this kid? For a few short years Hailey thought I knew everything. By the time she was five, she was totally on to me and knew that things were much more fun if you didn't do what Mom said.

I decided to ignore him, no reason to fight. Then Hailey called me crying, not only was her father refusing to give her away, he wasn't even coming to the wedding. The two of them exchanged some words on Facebook and he then unfriended her and our whole family. He's mature like that.

Not only did he tell her that he doesn't agree with her choice and will not support it but he also told her that it is easy for me to support this decision because I don't care about her or her future. What??? And where was he while I was raising her alone? Oh wait, I forgot, he would give me $166 a month in child support when he remembered and didn't have something more important to do, like buy new drums, or take his girlfriend out to dinner. Kudos to you twatwaffle for the months you remembered you had a daughter. I remembered every day of her life.

Recently he caved and said he would come to the wedding and give her away. Mighty big of him don't you think? Especially when I found out the change of heart came after his friends told him, on Facebook, what an ass he is being. Again, he's mature like that.

I have used my love of words to write a letter to him, more like hate mail really, that I will send after the wedding, I'm not about to ruin her day.

Here's a little excerpt, the only part without too many four letter words:

My daughter is an amazing, incredible, intelligent human being with a kind heart and hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Too bad you are so selfish that you can't recognize the beautiful things that live in my daughters heart because you don't have a heart.
This shit you package and try to sell to Hailey as your love for her is not love, you are too selfish to love another human being, the only person you ever cared about is yourself and that continues today.


Now before you think I'm being a total bitch, this man said to my daughter when she called him crying about losing the baby " Well, now you can focus on your music."

Ummm, hello, Billy Ray? Oh wait, that's not your name, you are just another wanna be who spends his weekends playing drums in dive bars for $20 a night. Really? Can't imagine why I don't want that life for her.

I'm done being nice. I will smile and make polite small talk at the wedding, for Hailey. But after it's over, I'm done being nice. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on you sad, pathetic little man.

Ok, I'm done now. Back to your regularly scheduled program.

8 comments:

  1. Bravo! Take a bow to that one! Sounds like he totally deserves it! It's your fault she's getting married and if it doesn't work out (I pray it does) that will be your fault too right? Then yes I would mail that letter priority mail as soon as the vows are exchanged. You go MOM.

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  2. So, who will read it to him, and explain the big words? It doesn't sound like he has the horsepower to get it by himself.

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  3. Oh wow. He really doesn't have a clue about any of it; does he? Kudos to you for restraining yourself until after the wedding

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  4. Thanks guys, this is my baby's day, I don't have to agree with her but I will love her with my last breath.

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  5. A man will never understand the heart of a Mother! I can tell you several things my kids have done that I have warned them against but you know what I still love them with every fiber of my being! Isn't that exactly how we learned and gained our knowledge? Screw him girlfriend (oh wait, bad idea!) he can screw himself cuz thats the only person he will ever really have:(

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  6. how did this man ever get to be with you? sorry but it just seems so off to me. you always seem to be...not sure of the words i want to use....aware? alert? astute?.....where as he is definitely another a word. Carol, you are an amazing person and i am willing to bet your daughter soaked up some of that. i do remember believing that i was in love and all that it did to my perceptions, especially when i was young and knew everything. all you can do is be there for your daughter, to love her, unconditionally. that is what being a parent is about. if you don't feel it anywhere else than i will let you know i love you. if you need to hear it call me and i'll tell you. my number is on my facebook page. love ya Michael C

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  7. Back in the day when our girls were like 4, I remember spending days on the deck usually at your house cause you were the fun mommy with all the projects to do..lol..we would talk about the maturity level of our spouses. A few years down the road, you finally found your wings and let the turd go..I got stuck with mine because I never found that courage. Let me tell you, all the putting up with you, for Haily and even Ivy amazes me still.Kudos for being what mothers have always been...at the heart of their kids lives and well being because if it were up to the so called dads they have...most would be illiterate, drum banging, dope smoking monkeys swinging from the ceiling fans because it is fun and too much work to parent. You continue to be the mom you are for Haily and Ivy, but dad...does he really have to be a part of it? He shows no care or concern for Haily, why will it be different for Ivy? Haily can make up her own mind how she feels about her dad. You can have the sister relationship for the girls without involving stupid...lol.
    Marsi

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  8. You are special. He...he just doesn't rate!

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