Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Tell me your dreams....not the sex ones!

  We all have dreams, isn't it wonderful to dream. I remember when I was Mo's age and my dream was to meet my Prince Charming, get married and have 13 kids. Well, I got married, then I got married again and started on my passel of children. When Mo was born my first words to her, " I hope you don't mind being an only child, because Mommy is NEVER doing that dumb shit again!" I know, tender moment. Pushing one small head out of my girlie bits cured me of ever wanting to do it again.
 
   Time for a new dream: I was going to be the best wife and mommy in the world. My baby was going to be the smartest, kindest, most wonderful of child who would cure cancer by the age of 15, we would have a marriage that others would envy.
 
   Then I got divorced again, and for those of you keeping track, I got divorced again. I decided it was time to set some goals.

   I wanted to make a certain amount of money per year, buy a home and pay off my car. Surprisingly, considering my track record, I achieved those goals.

  Now it's time for the dreams. Who am I now that I'm not who I  thought I was? That was the first line to a short story I wrote and actually my inspiration for this blog. Who am I now that I am no longer someones wife and my child is grown?

   I've been thinking about it a lot, this is my current dream. I live in North Carolina, preferably close to the beach, in a little tiny clapboard house with a wide front porch. I make enough money writing to support myself.It's a tiny town, I ride my bike everywhere, mostly to the liquor store of course. In the evenings I sit on the front porch with a glass of wine and watch the lightning bugs.

  It's my dream, and it makes me happy. A guy at work today asked me why North Carolina and without thinking I said, " I think I left a piece of my soul there." I'm not sure where that came from but that's what it feels like.

   It's a five year plan. This is the starting point and that little house is the goal.I haven't figured out all the steps in between but I'm sure they'll come to me, in time. After all, my soul is waiting.

8 comments:

  1. It sounds like a grand plan -- except for me I would locate that clapboard house in the mountains. I figure you'll get there. You deserve fulfillment of your dreams.

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  2. Mine? Well, just getting back the ability to dream after twenty years behind the badge and behind bars has been a dream.

    Now, I am retired and the house is almost sold (two more days of finger crossing and waiting) and I might just be able to focus on the writing while living off of a pension. Three novels of a series polished and nearly ready, plus a collection of my short stories.

    I want to write. And travel a bit in my vagabond style. And do the grandpa thing a lot. I am almost to the starting line. It has been a long journey. Some was fun, most is/was rewarding only in retrospect.

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  3. You may not be that perfect wife and mother,but your child is...and no matter what you will always be the #1 daughter I dreamed of having.

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  4. Yours sounds like a perfect plan! Especially since that sounds very much like the plan I'd like to have someday.

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  5. This sounds simply wonderful!! Good for you.

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  6. I want you all to come visit. Oh the things we could talk about, I could listen to each of you talk for hours.

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  7. One small problem sweetie, no Damn wine in North Carolina, you brew your own shine out behind the house.

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  8. If anyone can make it work, you can Carol! You seem to be a very determined woman!

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