Saturday, September 25, 2010

Why do people trust me with their children?

   Last night I picked up my little Ivy Love. And discovered that I swear entirely too much. We were driving home and as I mentioned before I live where there is constant construction so coming home the lanes are so messed up no one knows which way to go. Add to that the digging machines were kicking up so much dirt that you could barely see the car in front of you.

   Suddenly a truck comes out of the dirt, in my lane, headed right for us. I managed to swerve onto the shoulder so he missed us but apparently as my heart was exploding and I was peeing my pants I must have said, "What the fuck was that?!"

   When the blood stopped pounding in my ears I hear, from that little voice in the backseat, "What the fuck was that?" Now the pronunciation wasn't perfect but the inflection was exactly the same as mine.

   I quickly turned around and said, " I'm sorry Ivy, that's not a nice word, we don't say that." Then I proceeded to drive home.

  Getting Ivy out of the car I hit my head, as I always do, and I said "Ow, shit!"  Once in the house Ivy dropped her cup, what did she say? "Oh shit" Once again I put on my best frowny face, " Ivy, that's not a nice word, we don't say that."

  Later I was telling Mo about Ivy repeating me in the car and Ivy overheard, she says "Mom!" - yes she calls me Mom sometimes, the Princess is too busy to remember the names of all the peasants who serve her. I said, " Whatcha want baby?" And my little Ivy Love put on her best frowny face and said " Don't say it!" Of course I laughed my ass off.

   A little while later when the dog stole Ivy's cookie she once again said " Oh shit" Again I gave her the frowny face, but before I could say anything she gave me that little dimpled smile and said " Don't say it!" So I laughed.

  I think she was encouraged by my laughter because then she started doing this cute little hopping, skipping kind of dance in a circle, while shaking her head and saying " Shit, shit, don't say it! Shit, don't say it! Shit, don't say it!" Until she tumbled to the floor laughing hysterically.

  What could I do? I gave her another cookie.

14 comments:

  1. People trust you because they know their children are safe with you. That kind of talk is now heard on the elementary playground your not exposing her to anything new! lol

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  2. you are worried about her sayin that??? I remember an innocent little baby girl sticking her finger in your face saying leave me the f...alone...and you laughing while leaving the room while nannan had to tell her thats not a nice word and aunt missi is bad..(because thats where she learned it from)....so haha!!!

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  3. If you swear enough around kids, they won't repeat. The novelty wears off. Trust me. I'm an expert at swearing and swearing around kids.
    Always love a good story about kids swearing!

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  4. That was freakin' hilarious! (I know what words I'm not *supposed* to say - although they do slip out with more frequency than I expect!)

    Don't you just love little ones? I would have given her another cookie too!

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  5. Swear to God - true story- Tabitha was little and looked at me one night and said, "I gotta go piss." "Piss is a bad word. Don't say it." "Okay, Mommy...I won't say piss anymore. And I won't say SHIT anymore either!"

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  6. I love the little kid swearing stories, they crack me up. Mo wasn't a swearer but she did talk really well at a very young age so all those embarrassing things she said, everyone understood.

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  7. My niece is 13 and she has given up telling me, "Auntie, that is a bad word!" I have tried, but sometimes they just slip out.

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  8. Yeah they can be little tikes with repeating what they hear, one of my grandsons walks up to me and called me a mofo and it didn't get it from me!

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  9. Oh shit! That is hysterical! Yeah, I'd trust you with my kids!

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  10. I have the opposite problem. My kids mouths are wearing off on me...I think they should give me a cookie!

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  11. Oh, God! How cute is this little Ivy? And the best part is that after you've taught her all these cute little phrases, you get to take her HOME and her MOM can deal with her un-learning them!

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  12. Hhahahaha! People trust you with their kids because you are a good person. I am sure Ivy must have heard the words from other people so it aint entirely your fault.
    Hilarious! I loved every line.

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  13. I agree with Sandra, We have way to much cursing in my house and once Anthony got over saying it a few times he has given up... He did however tell me to " Get out of MY room RIGHT NOW Mama" .. Wonder where he got that?!?!? Hopefully Nicholas will not pick up our bad language habit Maureen

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  14. she is an angel, and i thank u for watchin her so i can work, if she comes home with lil stories like that it just makes it better,,

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Say it, you know you wanna!