Saturday, August 28, 2010

Babies Grow Up

It's inevitable. Those lovely little warm, sweet-smelling lumps we bring home from the hospital are determined to grow up and stretch their wings. Just like baby birds.

Today my Ivy Love is 2. Un-freaking-believable! Who's idea was this? Certainly not mine, and not her sister's either so I'm going to blame her parents. Those people have some nerve letting her grow up!

For those of you who don't know, Ivy Love is my ex husbands child, but I forgive her for that. Just kidding, Steve and I have a great relationship, but even better, Ivy's Mom likes me! I get to share in all the fun stuff in Ivy's life and even get to keep her overnight. What more could I ask for, besides the growing up to slow down.

I made Ivy's cake, cause that's what I do. I'm sure there will be pictures of the sisters later but for now here is the cake.

In other babies grow up news. I think my birdies are just about ready to leave the nest.

Momma hasn't been around dive bombing me for the last day or so which makes me think she is trying to encourage them to leave the nest. I'll miss them, they are so cute, but it will be very nice to finally be able to clean all the bird poop off the front room window.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Snoopy Dancing!!!

Woo hoo! I'm sooooo excited! This week I bought myself not one, but TWO appliances!

Re-reading that sentence makes me realize that I really, desperately, need to get a freaking life, but, whatever.

First I bought an awesome food processor, the very first food processor I've ever bought. IN MY LIFE! I really don't process much food and since I usually buy all my food pre processed it seemed like one of those " I'm better than you because I have a food processor" things.

A lady at work brought me in a ton of basil, last time she did that I made the worlds best pesto, and even my kid, who hates all things green, agreed. So I had a mountain of basil and couldn't find the little rubber gasket thingy for my blender.

Now granted, the last time I used that blender there was alcohol, fruit juice and ice involved but still, how can the little rubber thingy not be with the rest of the blender?

So off to the store I went, bought my snotty little food processor, which will not get used again until the next time someone gives me a mountain of basil. On the bright side, yummy pesto.

Then I finally broke down and bought my coffee maker. Can you hear the angels singing? This thing is freaking amazing! Best coffee ever, in under one minute! I love, love, love it, and I'm worth it!

So this weekend I am fully prepared to sip coffee from my fancy coffee maker with my pinkie finger extended knowing that I'm better than everyone else because I now have a food processor.

Just one question: Can you make alcoholic beverages in a food processor or do I need to get a blender and make this a three appliance week?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

First Day of School

That picture was taken on Mo's first day of school. Yes, it was August, yes I made her wear that sweater, I thought she might get cold without her Mommy. The socks, they were totally her idea, I had them folded down so they looked cute, they had a little emblem on the side that matched the dress, she tried to pull them up to her knees.

This was also the only day I was ever allowed to dress her for school. She wore her nightgown and dress up clothes with black fur lined snow boots that were about four sizes too big, most days. She called them her sheriff boots and once they were handed down to her by Kayla she wouldn't wear anything else.

It took about three weeks and several new Polly Pockets to get her to let me dress her. Most of the time my child dressed like a homeless person, when she bothered to dress at all. Mo was the nakedest kid I ever met.

Today was the first day of her senior year. How did that happen? It used to be a tradition that I drove her to school on the first day and went into work late. Not this year, Mo drove herself so I didn't even get to see her before school, she was still asleep at 5:30 when I left for work.

I did call her before she left the house to wish her a great day and to make sure she found her lunch money. I asked what she was wearing on this auspicious day. Her reply?

"My ripped up skinny jeans and the T shirt I slept in."

The more things change, the more they stay the same. She still dresses like a homeless person.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Is it just me or are people getting weirder?

Usually when I write about Joyce on my blog it's because she has said or done something that has made me pee my pants. Although she continues to do that on a regular basis this post is about the weirdness in the world that she has experienced instead of her weirdness that the world experiences.

Joyce lives in the really nice part of town and she is driving in her jeep one day and she sees someone in the SUV in front of her start throwing trash out the car window, and they kept doing it, like they were cleaning out the car going down the road.

Not one to keep her mouth shut Joyce pulls up beside them at a red light and tells them to stop littering. You want to know the woman driving the SUV's response? Something about "the people in Utah" but the thing she kept repeating over and over was, "I'm a Berkeley graduate" like that somehow made it OK for her to come into our beautiful state and trash it. The man in the passenger seat told Joyce it would be a little hard for her to prove he was throwing trash out the window. Who are these people?

Then just a few days ago Joyce is taking her dog for a walk. She has a yellow lab, he is 120 pounds of love, the sweetest, least aggressive, best behaved dog you will ever meet. Joyce walks him to the school by her house and lets him off the leash in the field behind the school. Romeo is not a wanderer so when he is off leash he is rolling on his back in the grass, having a fine time.

When Joyce gets there she sees a man and teenage girl jogging around the perimeter of the field. She notices them but doesn't really pay any attention to them, she knows Romeo won't chase them or anything. After a while, she is walking with Romeo by her side in the middle of this field when the man comes jogging over. Joyce assumes he wants to talk, they live in the same neighborhood and he did come out of his way to jog over to her.

Oh no, this man jogs over and KICKS Romeo in the face!! Romeo drops immediately to the ground, no one has ever struck him! The man looks at Joyce and says, "Get your dog on a leash" and jogs away.

This person went out of his way to come over to Joyce just to kick her dog! And the worst part of it is that he made her feel small. It's so scary that anyone, at anytime can enter our world and harm someone we love, without provocation.

Is this who we are? Everyone talks about politician and how screwed up our legal system and welfare system and school system are, but what about the people who inhabit this beautiful country of ours? When did we become a nation of self important, entitled little twatwaffles?

As a parent, neither of these things are examples I want to set for my child, but children live this everyday, like the teenager jogging with the dog kicker, what message are we sending our kids?

Now I'm sad, and I'm especially sad for Romeo, beautiful boy, out enjoying a stroll in the grass and gets kicked in the face, simply for existing. Poor Joyce, she didn't even know how to react to this, but who would?

If we are human, where is our humanity, our simple human kindness. I think I'd rather be a dog.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Random updates

Lots of updates on random things, not enough of each for a blog so I threw them all together.

The baby birds are getting bigger! It's getting harder to get their pictures because Momma has decided that I'm not her friend. She chases me back in the house with that pointy beak of hers.

Trina and I went to see Norah Jones at Red Butte, blog to follow!

This morning I let Clementine out to potty and when she came in she was limping. I tried waiting it out but her poor little leg just kept swelling. Took her to the vet, apparently she was stung by a bee or something and had an allergic reaction. Here she is playing with the new toy she got for being such a good girl at the vet. Now I'm just wondering if everytime she gets stung by a bee it's gonna cost me $120.

I have been a slacker this year. My back yard looks like the weed field it was when I bought the house and my vegetable garden is dead, everything but the artichoke.

Everyone told me artichokes are perennials and that I wouldn't get anything until at least the second, possibly the third year. I have three artichokes! Maybe you just have to ignore them.

So ends today's random updates. Back to yard work!

Friday, August 20, 2010

I love my house, I love my house

I do love my house, please don't get the wrong idea. I just had no idea it would be so......needy.

When I moved in I knew it needed updating, I was ok with that. I saw it as an opportunity to make this house uniquely my own. And if you know me at all, you know when it comes to decorating, I'm nothing if not unique. Do I need to remind you of the screaming yellow kitchen? Also, this house has some purple squares randomly painted on the walls, I was trying out a new color.

That's not the kind of needy I'm talking about, needing to be remodeled is something I can do in my own good time. The things I'm talking about are the needs that have to be done right now. Like the new roof. I have a beautiful new roof, but before I got it I had to climb up there and patch the roof. Have I mentioned that I'm afraid of heights?

And my swamp cooler is possessed by the devil so it makes me get on the roof just to kick it at least once a week.

And then there is the siding. Call me naive but I had no idea stuff could just fall off your house. Since I've moved in I've had to nail different pieces of siding up several times. Yes, this is that house,the one with the nails you can see holding the siding on.

This weekend when Mo and I were away two huge pieces blew off the side of the house. This necessitated finding my big girl hammer and making another trip to the roof, with nails.

Summer time in Utah means that the beautiful dark brown roof I just bought is approximately hot enough to boil water during the day. I will only get on the roof barefooted because I need to be able to grip with my monkey toes so I had to wait until it was almost dark to get up there.

My ladder only reaches to the rain gutter and I'm afraid of heights, did I mention that? So not only does the roof need to be cool enough for my feet but I need to be able to army crawl up it.

The siding is back on the house so we don't look quite as ready to be condemned as we did, but I did learn a valuable lesson.

If you hit vinyl siding with a hammer, it kind of shatters. So the siding is up but there is this weird, jagged piece missing. Guess maybe I need new siding, or I could just paint the wood underneath white and I bet you'd never even notice.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Some days, the planets align

Last weekend Mo and I went to St George to see Cats. I know I already told you that but it's part of the story. Annnnnywayyyyyyyyy......

Recently I saw a picture of a bottle of wine on a blog, I'm sorry, forgive me, but I can't remember who's blog it was, the wine was called Fat Bastard.

I had to have it. The third Thursday of every month I get together with a bunch of my lady friends for Women and Wine. We each bring a bottle of wine and an appetizer and basically sit around and talk about whatever.

The funnest part is that we try to find the wine with the best label/name, so I really wanted Fat Bastard. We've had Bitch, Mad Housewife and Naked Earth, to name a few.

I thought since we were so close to Nevada I would drive to Mesquite and get Fat Bastard, they don't have it here at my local liquor store. I googled it and found that it was a 45 minute drive from where we were, then I remembered I was with a teenager. I was sure that the hour and a half drive to get a bottle of wine would not be Mo's idea of a good time so I decided not to go.

Mo and I went to the local liquor store, I was able to drive right there because I had spent 30 minutes the previous day looking for it only to find it closed at 7. What the hell?

So I'm wandering the liquor store making my 17 year old read wine labels, hey, don't judge, I make her read them, not drink them! We went up and down every aisle, nothing good. I got two wine coolers and went to check out.

At the check stand Mo and I are talking about Women and Wine and I said " Oh well, I'll go to the wine store downtown, maybe they'll have something funny."

The lady behind the counter said,
" Some of these wines have the funniest names, we just got one in, it has a bad word in the name, but I'm gonna say it anyway." And after looking around to make sure her bishop wasn't around, she whispered " Fat Bastard"

I said " You're fu**ing kidding me?" I am obviously not afraid of my bishop, and it helps that he wouldn't recognize me, because I'm not a member ya know.

"That's the one I want, can you get it for me?"

So this wonderful women took a chance to lose her endowments and handed me Fat Bastard.

I just wanna say, I'm grateful to the Church. They had this in the backroom and not on the shelf! So it was there for me to buy. Can't wait to tell this story at Women and Wine tonight.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Along came Mo......

When my ex husband and I decided we would have a baby, BOOM! I was knocked up. Just the way it was supposed to work. Decide, do the wild thing, baby on the way! Yay us!
Little did we know, getting pregnant would not be my problem, staying pregnant however, was a different story.

We were excited! I found out on December 12th 1990 I was pregnant and since the written word is my vehicle of choice, I started a diary for the baby. On December 16th I started spotting. Everyone said it wasn't a big deal, sometimes it happens, yada yada yada. On Christmas eve my gyno said the pregnancy was ectopic and I would need surgery. On December 27th I had surgery to remove the pregnancy from my fallopian tube. The pictures from that Christmas are so sad. I knew I was carrying a baby that would never be. I found out how very wrong people are when they say an early pregnancy loss isn't painful. It was excruciating. I wrote a letter to that baby, I needed it to heal.

July 1991, pregnant again. By August, that baby was gone as well. This time they said I either miscarried or had another ectopic that was reabsorbed by my body.

February 1992, pregnant again, another surgery. This time the doctor tells me that my fallopian tubes are so damaged from a pelvic infection I had as a teenager that I will never have a child, we should look into adoption. I ask about in vitro fertilization, he tells me it's a one in a million shot and if I insist on doing that we should contact an adoption agency anyway.

Here is part of a letter I wrote to my babies.

I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, a hand protectively across my stomach. Trying so hard to feel you, as if by sheer will I can make everything okay. I sleep and dream of you, you are happy, healthy, smiling but always just outside my grasp.

Again the spotting. I retreat inside myself, my body goes through the motions, my mind refuses to believe, is unable to stand another assault.

Lying again on a table, gel on my forever flat stomach as other people search for you. It's over, they say, not meant to be. Again, you have gone away.

I'm stubborn and I hate when someone tells me I can't do something so of course I called the fertility clinic and not the adoption agency. IVF was a walk in the park, if you don't believe me, you can read about it here

I worked. I was stunned, but unbelieving. As much as I wanted this baby I spent my whole pregnancy terrified of losing her. She scared me a few times, labor started early, and often. I was frequently going to the hospital to be injected with liquid bitch to stop my contractions, it worked and I killed no one. At 36 weeks Mo came into the world. I think she was as stunned as I was, but that is a story for another day.

Monday, August 16, 2010

My weekend with Mo

When Mo turned 17 in June I got her two things for her birthday, the first was her Monroe, pictured here:

And also, because Mo is a theater geek, I got her tickets to the Broadway play Cats being performed at Tuacahn in St George. I had to do some fancy footwork because apparently between the two of us we've gotten pretty busy lately. We decided on the August 14th performance, which was also the last performance for this year so we just made it.

St. George is a little less than 5 hours from home so we decided to make a weekend of it. I was so excited about that. I know that before too long I will not be her traveling companion of choice so I'm taking advantage of this!

Our plan was to leave Friday morning and we were on the road by 9:30. The drive was uneventful, Mo slept a lot, 9am is the middle of the night to her, just like it was for her Grandmother.

I can't begin to tell you what fun I had with this child! We shopped, ate, read, visited with a friend and her beautiful baby and just basically enjoyed each others company.

The play was amazing but even more amazing was sitting next to my baby watching her watch the actors with the same look on her face she had when her Daddy and I took her to her first movie so very long ago.

I know that my blog is the place I vent about how hard it is to parent this being sometimes but I can't express how much I love the person she is becoming.

In so many ways Mo is your typical 17 year old. Her room is a mess, her car is a mess, she leaves a trail of glasses, plates and dirty laundry in her wake. In other ways she is the most incredible human being that I've ever met and I am grateful every day that I'm her Mom.

After the play, we took pictures with the actors and then Mo skipped to the car. Life is so amazingly beautiful, and my baby girl, she is the best part of that.

Thank you Mo, for spending the weekend with me and making sure your directionally challenged mother was never lost. You are all I could ask for in this life.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

At the tone, the time will be...........

Do you remember the time lady? Today I was reminded of things our children don't know about, like the time lady.

I can still hear her voice "At the tone, the time will be, 6:42 and 30 seconds." Beeeeep. Do they still do that? Is there still a number you can call to see what time it is? Not that you need to, the time is right there on your cell phone display, but I wonder if they still do that.

For whatever reason that popped into my head today. Mo and I were laying in the motel beds, reading, when I checked the time to see how long we had before we needed to start getting ready for the play.

After checking the time, I rolled over and said to Mo, "At the tone, the time will be 6:42 and 10 seconds. Beeeeeeep" She looked at me like I had lost my mind so I explained to her about the time lady.

I'm not sure she believed me. She has never lived in a world where there isn't a digital clock on everything, the TV, the computer, your phone, in the car. Mo can't imagine not knowing what time it is, now, neither can I.

Reminds me of the song by Chicago:

Does anyone really know what time it is?
Does anyone really care?
If so I can't imagine why.

We've got enough time to cry and enough time to die, according to Chicago. I hope we are all making enough memories along the way.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

When I get where I'm going..

Sometimes we are lucky enough to know someone that is larger than life, bigger than mountains and kinder than a kiss. For me, that someone was my Pop.

My Pop was not a millionaire, he didn't find a cure for cancer or invent the internet. What he did was unremarkable to the world, he loved his family, and loved us well, and for that, I will always feel blessed.

My mother's father was my Pop Pop. My father died when I was very young so luckily I had a wonderful grandfather willing to step in and take me by the hand. Pop was so much more than a grandfather, he was, and still is, the voice in my head that guides me. I can still hear him say " Missi, you need to stop this, nothing good is going to come of it."

Pop was very old school. He took us everywhere with him, but only if we were properly dressed. Shorts and a halter top were not proper attire for a little girl, and although we rolled our eyes we would gladly change, just to take a walk with Pop.

My grandfather never drove a car, he walked everywhere and everyone knew him. He kept the grounds of the churches in the area looking pretty, he mowed the grass, planted the flowers and then weeded the beds. Pop was old, to me, he was always old, but he was amazing.

Pop was a volunteer fireman and every year won an award for going on the most calls, even though he was the oldest active member. When he was in his 60's they made him stop riding on the back of the truck, he fell off, so after that they insisted Pop had to sit in one of the seats.

Nan and Pop lived in an apartment above the fire station. The fire station had two big halls that they used for bingo and crab feasts and wedding receptions. Pop always set up before and cleaned up after. The best part was when we got to help. The floors were those old square tiles and Pop would sprinkle sawdust out of a big barrel all over the floors and then let us kids use those big push brooms to clean the floors. We never thought of it as work, we were playing with Pop Pop. And when we were done, he let us climb on the firetrucks, wearing the firemens coats and boots and stomping around pretending we were saving the world.

Pop didn't have much education, if I remember correctly he never went past elementary school, but he was the smartest person I knew. We would go for walks and Pop knew the name of every tree, flower and bird. He knew which mushrooms you could eat and which would make you sick. He could make anything grow.

It makes me sad that Mo will never know my grandparents. Pop with his kind heart and those beautiful blue eyes, and Nan with her warm lap and a hug that made the world a better place.

My grandfather died at 81, doing what he loved, fighting a fire. He lost Nan the year before and we slowly lost him over that year. Pop mourned Nan in a way I had never seen before and have not seen since. She was his world. After she died Pop would walk to the mall and buy one of those cards that was more like a book, with several poems about love and loss and missing the person you love. Then he would walk home and tuck in it the frame with Nanny's picture.

When Nan died my Pop held my hand and walked me to her casket to say goodbye. I stood there, unsure of what to do, I was afraid of this still and silent Nan, I didn't want to say goodbye and so I cried and my Pop said. " I know Missi, I miss her too." And then he his arm around me and said " She is still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Today I'm missing my Pop. I miss him every day, it's been 22 years, and still I miss him. I think he's been on my mind lately because I'm going to see Willie Nelson next month and I remember that Pop didn't like him, thought he needed a haircut and a shave.

When Pop died fire trucks, ambulances and police cars came from all over the state. Everyone knew Pop and every station wanted to be represented. They had to actually close the road for the funeral procession. My mother, my siblings and I were the first to the grave site and we had to wait almost an hour for everyone one else to get there, the funeral procession was so long.

After the funeral when we went back to the fire station and they were flying the black flag and the American flag was at half mast, it hit me, Pop really wasn't going to come home. In my life that black flag had flown every time a fire fighter died, but this time it wasn't just a fire fighter, it was my Pop.

So many people knew and loved my Pop and they would all say they feel lucky to have known him, but no one was as lucky as we were. Pop loved us, with everything he had. How can you be any more blessed?

Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton sing a song called When I Get Where I'm Going, this is my favorite part:

I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy,
and he'll match me step for step,
and I'll tell him how I missed him,
every minute since he left.
Then I'll hug his neck.

Love you and miss you Pop Pop.

Friday, August 13, 2010

How did you find me?

You know, I can be a pretty vain person but I never really thought about the people who found my blog that weren't related to me and therefore obligated to read whatever falls out of my head.

Oh, I know I have my bloggy friends, I read their stories, they read mine, we're tight like that. I never though anyone else read my random spewings, until today.

I'm just learning about the analytics and all the neat stuff that tells you how many people view your blog on any given day. It's kind of fun, I get to see how many people read what I write, small numbers excite me! Anyway I found a report that will tell you what keywords people searched on the web that lead them to you. Wow, other people who are not related or bloggy friends search for me??! I was way excited, until I found out how they found me.

Some of the stuff was normal, and expected, Mary Chapin Carpenter was a big search that led people to me. Bubble bath was another one, those I would have expected. The following I'm still trying to figure out:

*yellowstone sexn----??? Is that even a word? And not once have I talked about Yellowstone and sex in the same sentence.

*scream queen-- again, WTH???

*smooth panties--- is this a new fetish I should read up on? And how did they find me, I don't even wear panties!

The one that didn't surprise me- sexymom- I'm sure that's my picture in the dictionary.

I'll just take my swelled head and go now, still amazed that people typed the word sexy and found me!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Some days.... my life is too cool

On Sunday S, sister wife and I went to Park City, Mo's car had been acting up so after S fixed it he wanted to take it for a drive to make sure it was ok so we went to Park City,

First you need to know that I'm always a little bit lost and I absolutely hate it! I need to know where I am at all times. Since I had been to Park City most recently I was doing the navigating, this is almost always a bad idea. I told S where to turn. Turns out,I was wrong. Now if I had been driving I would have flipped a U turn and headed back to where I made my mistake, that's the only way I can navigate. Since S knows where he is, he doesn't do that.

My stomach is a little upset, I think S and sister wife thought I was kidding. I HATE to be lost, did I mention that? It doesn't matter if everyone else knows where they are, if I am lost, I'm freaked out.

S got us where we were going and we took a nice little hike through the city park to get to Main Street, There are so many interesting things along the way, I almost forgot my stomach hurt.

First we saw fish.

I know the pictures are a little hard to see, but they are made out of 5 gallon drums and car parts.

Then we came upon a sound garden.

This is from the inside of a piano.

These are some kind of parts from a car, I don't know anything about the inside of a car, just where the key and the gas go, so I took their word for it.

Then there was some wooden stuff. All the parts had these little sticks you could use to bang on them and make music. So after S, sister wife and I make enough horrible noises to scare off all the woodland creatures we continued on to Main Street.

A fun day was had by all. Although I didn't feel completely right until we were on the freeway heading home and I knew exactly where I was.

Thank goodness S and sister wife were willing to hold my hand along the way!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I think I'm in the Twilight Zone

It's happened. Everyone said it would but I didn't believe them. I didn't think it was possible but it seems, I was wrong.

Mo seems to be growing up! I know, I'm a little stunned too, and hoping I'm not speaking too soon but since she turned 17 there is something decidedly different about her.

First of all, her sense of humor has hit warp drive. The kid keeps me laughing, and not in a little kid I'm going to tell you a poop joke way- in an adult, sarcastic way- she is hysterical!

And, fasten your seat belts- she has started picking up after herself. Her room still looks like the city dump but the rest of the house she picks up! She and V even dyed their hair in the main bath and I didn't need to gut it to get rid of the stains.

This is a wonderful time. We are able to talk about things instead of her sulking and thinking I'm the meanest mom in the world. And, she actually likes the guy I'm dating. As much as I'm loving this time, I still miss this face, not the 80's hair but that perfect little face.

This is the last year of my baby's childhood and although I don't consider myself to be a Mommy blogger- Mo is much too old for that, I think for the next ten months you are going to be reading a lot of " When Mo was....." It's been a glorious ride and I wouldn't trade one minute of it!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Who do you write like?

I love reading blogs and I usually find something very interesting. Today I was reading my friend Jerry's blog and he posted about a site that will tell you what famous author your writing style resembles, all you save to do is submit a sample.

Being the nosy girl I am, I had to try. I submitted one of my blogs, When I fall I'm Alive and it said..........drum roll please...................

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Unbelievable! How did this thing know I worship Stephen King? I own everything he has ever written, I still scour yard sales and book stores looking for something I may have overlooked. When I grow up I want to be Stephen King.

I'm so glad Jerry posted this, it totally made my day. I was going to try again and see what it would say about a different writing sample but decided against it, this was the only result I wanted anyway.

I can't help but wonder if it read my story or my mind, maybe this website is some weird gypsy crystal ball reading website and it reads your mind and tells you what you want to hear.

And now the men with the butterfly nets are knocking at the door, I must go say hello.

Thanks again Jerry, now I'm doing a happy dance.

Post it note Tuesday

Haven't done this in a while but lots of randomness to spew!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Update on my little visitor

A little while ago I wrote a blog about the hummingbird that was hanging around my front door. Today, the wind was really blowing so I went to the front door to look out and I see this poor little bird fighting the wind, trying to get to my front door. WTH?

Then I see her land- on what I thought was a bees nest on the camera by my front door. Turns out it was her little nest.

I was able to get my phone up there and take a picture inside the nest and this is what I found.

Babies! She has babies! I wish I could see them better but Momma was getting a little ticked off and her beak is kinda long and pointy so I thought I should leave them alone.

Now, I feel even more blessed. She feels safe enough to have her babies right by my front door. Now my house has a name, it will forever be the Hummingbird house. I'm going to make a sign.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Angel Moroni

First to those of you who are not lucky enough to live in or around Utah, the Angel Moroni is the statue on the top of the LDS Temples. I am not LDS, but I do like to know stuff!

Recently S (still no blog name for him) and I went to Idaho Falls to the Air Show. It was a wonderful, relaxing weekend. We took lots of pictures, drank some beer, got a little sunburned, ate great food and stayed in a nice hotel. Our hotel overlooked the Snake River. The last night we were there we went for a walk along the river. One the other side of the river is the Idaho Falls LDS Temple. When we first got there I thought the Angel Moroni on the top of the temple was HUGE!! I live in Salt Lake, I’m surrounded by LDS temples but I could not remember ever seeing the angel on top so large. When I commented to S that the Angel Moroni was huge, he said it’s because there are no other buildings close to it. I’m sure he wished he could make me shut up because every time we were near that temple I said the same thing:

“ That Angel Moroni is freaking huge!”

To which he slowly replied “That’s because there aren’t any other buildings around. “

Because I’m kind of nosy and have to know everything, I was not willing to take that for an answer, after all, this guy with the trumpet- HE WAS HUGE! When we got home and I went to work I started asking questions, most of the people I work with are LDS. Are all the Angel Moroni’s that same size? Are they normal man size or special because they are angels? Why does the Idaho Falls angel look so HUGE?

No one knew. I couldn’t believe it, and they call themselves Mormon. So I did what I do best, I googled it, so here is the information for those of you who must know the answer now that I’ve brought it up.

The Angel Moroni's are not all the same size. Who knew? And the reason the one in Idaho looks so huge- his spire is shorter than most. Poor thing. At least he's an angel, he's got that going for him.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Lady of Leisure

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? I would pursue joy, unfortunately it doesn’t pay very well. I would like to spend the rest of my life caring for people, people I love and people I don’t. Not as a nurse or anything like that, I don’t want it to be a job, I want to give and care for people because it’s in my heart, not because someone is paying me to do it. I think it is a very rare person that is able to really hold onto their passion once it becomes a job.
I’ve heard if you do what you love you will never work a day in your life. Wouldn't that be wonderful, to get up in the morning and think "Today I get to(fill in the blank)!" Instead of, time to make the donuts. Not that there's anything wrong with making donuts, I love donuts, especially glazed chocolate from Dunkin Donuts, and their coffee is pretty amazing too. I actually worked at Dunkin Donuts once, but that's another story.
So lately I've been thinking alot about what I should do, now that I'm all grown up. This is what I've come up with:

I want to:
Wake up and take my coffee outside to watch the sun rise.
Visit the elderly.
Take a walk
Go to a playground and watch children play
Get a massage
Spend time with a friend
Take long bubble baths

I looked at my list and realized that not one of these things will pay the bills. So I must continue toiling away in my cubicle. Another rat in the maze, until, that fateful day, when the rich uncle I didn't know I had, leaves me all of his money.

I got an email yesterday about an inheritance, everyone says it's a scam, I say, it just might be fate.

Friday, August 6, 2010

When I fall, I'm alive

I wrote this post last August 15th and the words keep bumping around in my head so I thought I should repost it. I went to a wine party that night and watching all of the people searching brought this out in me.

Hot August nights, or something more beautiful. I round the corner, he comes toward me, we talk, smile. His words fall all around me, his eyes dart to the side, to the shadows that play there. He also wants to watch the dancers in this elaborate mating ritual.

We move to the deck, the view is better, we see the dancers come together, move apart, disappointed, disjointed, falling away, their smiles fading then reappearing for the next round.

His eyes search my face, looking for what he must find. I know he won’t find it there, but still, I let him search. He asks a question, I hesitate. To take the hand he offers mean letting go of the hand I hold, the one I fall so freely from and to. Will he stop the fall?

Smiling, the lie falls easily from my lips, as I walk away he picks it up and puts it in his pocket to be taken out later, turned over and over looking for the truth.

I realize as I let go of his hand and the hand I have been clinging to, falling is my destiny. Not falling feels like a trap, a death sentence. I was born to fall, gracefully, slowly, bumping into days, weeks, worlds, being held for a moment and left to fall again.

When I forget to fall I struggle to find what I don’t want, then when it has me in its grasp I can’t breath and must be free. I fight against what I fought so hard for, so I can continue my fall, so I can breath again, be me again.

I spread my arms wide, relishing this fall, this time, this moment before I become part of another moment. Living the destiny my mother gave me when I fell from her body and began this journey of falling into the life that suits me, moment by moment.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I'm in love..................

With my carpet shampooer. Don't worry, the first person I told was my man, he seemed ok with it, said something about the vibrating attachment.I'll have to check for that.

But back to my carpet shampooer. On Monday since I got the shampooer out to do the car I thought I should go ahead and do the carpet. I was grumbling the whole time because I hate vacuuming and shampooing the carpet is just like vacuuming but sweatier, and you still have to vacuum first.

I thought I should buy new carpet because between teenagers and dogs and my lack of vacuuming skills, this carpet is getting pretty trashed. I did the front room first, pretreated all the stains, ran the carpet shampooer over it and I swear there was a bright light and a choir of angels! I don't need new carpet, just to clean mine once in a while. Maybe I'll even vacuum.

Speaking of vacuuming, I just ordered myself a new vacuum. Not an expensive one just one I am hoping is as good as the Dirt Devil I had in the 90's. I refuse to pay $500 for vacuum, then I would really have to use it, however, I do like to buy myself appliances.

I buy myself appliances because I don't have a spouse to buy them for my as romantic gifts for Christmas or my birthday. I figure if I keep buying appliances by the time I get married and a special occasion rolls around my loving husband will think " This woman has every appliance known to man, I must buy her diamonds and fancy chocolates."

Hey, it's my dream, don't laugh, it's not polite.

For my birthday I bought a new printer, the shampooer was a Christmas gift. I've also purchased a stand mixer and a coffee maker. As a rule I try not to buy kitchen appliances, I don't cook so why get peoples hopes up.

Right now I am coveting a Keurig coffee maker. My friend JJ has one and I'm obsessed with it. I google them all day to look at the pictures. Somehow that sounds different in my head. Anyway, I want one really, really bad. Christmas is so far away, would I be out of line to buy myself a Labor Day present? I mean, after all, I was in labor once.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Calling in Lazy

So I took Monday off work. I went to the concert Sunday night and since I have to be to work at 6am and have like a gazillion PTO hours I thought I would take the day to relax.

Who was I kidding? I got up at 6 so I could get on the roof and fix the swamp cooler before it was too hot to get up there. So ten trips up and down the ladder later, the house is about 3 degrees cooler. Go me!

Then I mowed part of the back yard, only part because then the sun was high and bright and it was way too hot. So off to the basement.

You may recall that I fostered a large number of puppies and they lived in the basement. Fortunately I kept the concrete scrubbed so I didn't have to do that but I needed to put away and organize everything that had been removed from the puppy living area.

Then it was off to the garage. Yikes! Lots of stuff in there that needs to go to the local church thrift store, I just pile it in there until I have a car load. Lots of stuff in there that needs to go in the shed out back.

While loading the car I realize that it is almost too filthy inside to drive, must take it to the car wash to clean and vacuum it then as soon as I can find the little head for my carpet shampooer I need to clean the carpet.

Oh yeah, because I took all the stuff to the shed, as soon as the sun goes down I have to organize that damn thing.

Before going to drop off all the miscellaneous crap in my car I decide to look for the power head for the carpet shampooer. All the cleaners for the shampooer are under the sink so I think maybe it's there. Once I pull everything out from under the sink I'm more than I little embarrassed that I live here. I'm just glad no one is here to see it. I have to consolidate about fifty different bottles of cleaners because when I'm at the store I can't remember if it's windex I need or bathroom cleaner, so I buy one of each. Then I have to throw away about fifty more bottles of earth friendly cleaners that I bought to be eco conscious and none of them work, including the dishwasher gel. You are not saving the planet if you have to hand wash your dishes either before or after you run the dishwasher.

No power head. Dammit, must be in the hall closet.

In the hall closet I find lots of coats for the thrift store, half of which do not even belong to us. Lot's of games that Mo has not even opened, all of Clementine's coats and sweaters but no power head.

Now I'm on a mission, I'm going from room to room, trashing the house looking for this damn thing. It's nowhere to be found. It is not in my closet, Mo's closet, the linen closet, under any of the bathroom sinks. It is also not in my underwear drawer, don't ask.

As I gaze at the destruction left in my path, realizing that now I have to clean all this crap up, I get the bright idea of googling it and ordering another one.

Well guess what friends and neighbors? My carpet cleaner didn't come with a little power head, it has a little steam head. The little power head is on the damn vacuum.

I hope I don't get any more days off any time soon. I don't have the energy for it!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Another Red Butte Concert

I can't think of any place I would rather see a concert. Red Butte is just perfect. the mountains are in the background, it's a small venue, maybe 800-1000 people. It's absolutely wonderful.

This time we saw Mary Chapin Carpenter. She is awesome. We were supposed to go see her three years ago but she hurt her back so I've been looking forward to this concert for a long time.

It was so much fun. Joyce's little granddaughter danced her heart out! I took a ton of pictures but my camera phone is not the best so I can't show them to you.

It was a wonderful night spent with some of my favorite women. Thanks ladies for taking me with you!

Monday, August 2, 2010

The ABC's of me

I have been trying to get caught up on so many things that my blog has been suffering so today, instead of ignoring you here is something I borrowed from Tennessee Mom.

A – ACCENT: I'm from Maryland, everyone in Utah asks what part of the south I'm from, I have no idea what my accent is, I'd say Trailer Park Chic.

B – BREAST SIZE: depends on the amount of padding in my bra.

C – CHORE YOU HATE: vacuuming

D – DAD’S NAME: John/Clarence- I'm lucky, I get two!

E – ESSENTIAL MAKE-UP ITEM: mascara, otherwise my eyes disappear.

F – FAVORITE PERFUME: Calvin Klein's Euphoria


H – HOME TOWN: Born in PA, lived in Maryland until I was 30ish now Sunny Utah!

I – INSOMNIA: hell no, sleeping is my super power.

J – JOB TITLE: sales person extraordinaire!

K – KIDS: The unstoppable Mo.

L – LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: I live with a teenager, send help.

M – MOM’S BIRTHPLACE: Maryland- think- sorry Momma!

N – NUMBER OF APPLES YOU’VE EATEN: eleventy million! I have an apple with peanut butter for breakfast every morning.

O – OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: Four- forehead cyst when I was ten, to lose a baby, to have a baby and to have the baby factory removed.

P – PHOBIA: I'm a little bit afraid of everything but I'd have to say heights and flying.

Q – QUEST: To develop a super power other than sleeping.


S – SIBLINGS: Two brothers, two sisters.

T – TIME YOU WAKE UP: 5am, whether I have to work or not.

U – UNNATURAL HAIR COLORS YOU’VE WORN: ummm none, it grows out of my head this color, I just have to keep the unnatural gray at bay :)


W – WORST HABIT: smoking when I'm stressed


Y – YUMMY FOODS YOU MAKE: I don't cook much but I am a hell of a baker.

Z – ZANY QUIRK: Giving everyone TMI on my blog.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Spanx- Or why do women hate themselves so much?

Saturday evening my boyfriend (still hate that word) was taking me to one of his friends weddings. She is actually the lady who has cut his hair forever, this man is so friendly and funny that everyone loves him! So we had a wedding to go to, not overly formal but I still needed a new dress.

I went Friday night to find a dress and ran into Nancy instead so somehow we found a bar and a couple of Corona's and talked about our love lives.

Saturday morning I dropped Clementine off at the groomers and went to find a dress. I speed shopped, tried on approximately 500 dresses and came away with two. I have a friend getting married the end of August so I needed two, don't judge me!

These dresses are fairly clingy through the bodice and swingy through the skirt so I though maybe I should get one of those new fangled shapewear things to make everything nice and smooth.

I am not a big woman but I still have those little rolls around my bra strap and some chubbles around my waist and I wanted to look nice.

I had no idea how many shapewear styles there were. You can basically buy something that goes from mid calf to your wrists. I thought that was overkill, after all, it's summer and the skirt doesn't cling.

I bought the lovely panty in the picture. I hurried home, excited to show Mo what I bought. I show her both dresses, she tells me which one she likes then she picks up the panty, which is hanging from a skirt like hanger.

"What is this?" She looks horrified.
"It's my Spanx."
" Mom, seriously, what is this?"
"Industrial strength underwear. It's to make everything smooth under the dress."
" Dead sexy Mom" she says, rolling her eyes at me, " All night your boyfriend is going to be thinking- I can't wait to get you and your granny panties home."
"I cannot believe we are having this conversation, aren't you going to be late for work?" I'm pushing her out the door, what does she know with her 17 year old everything is where it's supposed to be body?

Kids!! After my shower I start to get dressed. It takes me about 25 minutes and every swear word I know to get this panty over my butt and hips. Another 10 and it's over my rib cage sucking the life out of me.

Everything is smooth except for these two large lumps, oh wait, those are my freaking ribs! I'm having trouble taking a deep breath and the world is getting a little fuzzy around the edges.

Finally my body adjusts to the lack of oxygen and I'm able to finish getting ready. We go to the wedding and it's wonderful. Then we go out to dinner, which is wonderful as well. Except that I have to pee and there is no escape from my killer underwear. I'm trying not to think about it. When we get home I feel like a three year old doing the potty dance so I turn to my boyfriend and ask him to take my underwear off.

Trust me, it was no where near as come hither as it sounds, he was made aware of the underwear on the way to the wedding when I told him I thought they were trying to kill me.

He grabs a hold of those babies and starts pulling, and pulling, and pulling. I forgot to tell you, these panties have a rubberized two inch wide area around each leg hole to keep them smooth and from riding up your butt. By the time he gets the panties off my hips he has discovered that they are glued to my butt. Dead sexy I tell ya!

Amazingly, he still kissed me goodnight.