Saturday, July 10, 2010

Directionally Challenged

I don't know my left from my right, so there! Why do we have a left and right, why can't we just point and say "That way", it would help me tremendously.

I've had this problem all my life and I've tried to cure it, sometimes using extreme measures like gettting married so I would have a ring on my left hand. Nothing worked.

A few weeks ago Mo and I were driving downtown, it was hot, I was thirsty and starting to get a little grumpy. We had driven past approximately twenty Mormon churches in our fifteen minute car ride but I could not find a stinking McDonalds so I could get a drink.

Mo comes to my rescue. I never drive downtown, first I'm not a good driver, second the streets are dumb, third the people on those streets are all insane, and I'm not a good driver- I know I said that twice but that's how important it is.

My darling daughter tells me she knows where a McDonalds is, just go left at the light Mom. Since we about 100 feet from the light I veer across two lanes of traffic to make my left. A weird screeching sound starts coming from Mo's side of the car.

"Where are you going?"

"McDonalds"

"I said left, Mom, left"

" I know, I went left."

" No, you didn't you went right. You always do this."

" I do not ALWAYS do this, and don't start with me, I want a drink, I'm dying of thirst."

So I make a U turn in the middle of State Street, which she reminds me is against the law- why did I teach her to talk- and go to McDonalds to get a Coke.

On Friday, Joyce went to pick up lunch, she called me because her Jeep wouldn't start. I drove over to help her. I'm not much help but we did manage to push the Jeep around the corner onto a side street where it would be easier to get it started and some men stopped to help us. Their jumper cables were electrical taped together, when that didn't work they went into the sandwich shop to get their lunch.

Another man came to our rescue and he and his friend were going to push the Jeep out of the street and into a little parking lot for us, they told me to get in and steer. Piece of cake.

As they are pushing the Jeep I asked them where they wanted me to park it. After a little discussion between the two men they decide on the left would be good, so I turn left.

"Your other left." Now I'm confused. I actually put my foot on the brake while they were pushing the Jeep so I could figure out exactly where my left is.

Mo is right, I do it all the time.

8 comments:

  1. Ok my beautiful try thinking of this next time...you write with your right hand. Let me know if that works out. lmao

    Love ya!

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  2. Way back when I was in high school band it was important that when we started to march that we all started with our left foot. I finally figured out that by curling my left fingers in and stabbing my left palm with my fingernail got me started on the correct foot.

    I think I got it all memorized now.

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  3. Poor baby! I can relate to this whole thing! All too well!

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  4. I also am directionally challenged, (maybe it runs in the family) but only when put on the spot, when given ample thinking time i know my left from my right but when giving directions from the passenger seat i always say turn "your" way or "my" way. Luckily most people i ride/drive with know this about me and can give or react to directions accordingly
    Maureen

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  5. Oh, honey! You really ARE pretty bad! (snickers)

    Can I suggest you hold your left hand up in the Universal "L" sign as a possible reminder? I'm sure Mo can show you how to do it.

    Ya might not have time to remember how to do it if you're crossing 4 lanes of traffic, though...

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  6. For me it depends on what direction I'm facing.
    Maybe that's what happens to you too ; )

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