Monday, April 26, 2010

Prince Charming wanted: Apply within

Wanted: My very own Prince Charming. Someone to love me and share my life. Must be handsome, stong, kind and able to make me laugh.

Seems simple enough don’t you think? After all, I've certainly kissed my share of frogs.

Sadly, those few little words that describe Prince Charming are really just code for a whole slew of things.

1. Handsome- tall, broad shoulders, thick hair, kind eyes, kissable lips , nice teeth, nice smile, great laugh, strong hands, nice chest, dresses well, arms that wrap around me and make me feel safe, cute butt, and good looking enough to make my friends envious.

2. Strong- able to leap tall buildings and take out the trash, stamina, morally strong, does the right thing and able to carry me to bed when I’ve vomited under the trampoline ( don't ask)

3. Kind- to me obviously but also to kids, dogs, old people and the less fortunate, he also is blind to my faults without actually being blind.

4. Able to make me laugh- not at him but with him. It really is a bonding experience when someone makes you snort the beverage you’re drinking out of your nose. Someone who remembers all the things that are important to me, my birthday, the day we met, our first kiss, that I’m sometimes sad on Mondays, I know do I want a boyfriend or a day planner? Flowers for no reason.

Those are just the obvious, then there are lots of little things. Lateness makes me crazy. So does sloppiness, laziness and addictions. He can’t live in front of the TV. He needs to be spiritual but not obsessed. Active. And, he can’t wear Velcro shoes.

Am I asking for too much?

Oh, and just so you know, as soon as I get these things, I decide that, although those things are wonderful, what I REALLY want is.......



  2. Unfortunately, a man with most of those assets has a license to be an asshole. Pretty boys often feel entitled, especially to consider EVERY FEMALE a candidate as an occasional wife.

    Pretty is seldom attached to kindness and generosity, no matter what gender or orientation. Of course, I may hold this opinion because I am not.

  3. I'm a little with Michael on this one. Except to me, all men are handsome, short and fat, tall and skinny, young and old, rich and poor, and smart and dumb! I love them all! I love their "texture". It's special and every one of them is too! And I have a feeling, Michael is a studmuffin!

  4. I'm sure Michael is a studmuffin, and although my post sounded pitifully shallow, I don't really go for the conventionally handsome man. I like my men with a little meat on their bones and miles on the face. Show me a man with a life fully lived and I'm falling......

  5. Oh, I totally relate to this post, honey. I would like to believe he's out there for you...somewhere. But, where? There's no-one sitting under the trampoline, you'll be vomiting by yourself...

  6. I would apply 'cept for the handsome and strong part. But I can make you laugh and take out the trash.

    You need to think in terms of old, balding, a bit overweight and able to cook up a mean peanut butter sandwich. And someone whose goal in life is to make you happy...'cause that will make you want to make him happy.


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