Ever been shot by an oven? Me neither.

I had this cute little blog about Ivy floating around in my head and then I read the news online. You really can't make this shit up.

First there is the headline to draw you in, make you want to read more:

Woman shot by oven while cooking waffles

Really? Apparently this little lady, (she was 18) was making waffles, in an oven, at her friends house and failed to notice he stored the magazine from his .45-caliber Glock 21 in there.

 OOOOkkkkaaaaaaaaaayyyyy.

Anyway, after being sprayed by shrapnel, she picked some of the pieces out of her legs and chest, and then, she took a bus to the hospital. What a considerate girl! I'll make you waffles and when your oven shoots me, I'll even take the bus to the hospital! She probably even knitted him some socks on the ride. She's a keeper.

So, she's fine, the guy's gun was totally legal, registered and everything. Apparently there is no IQ test to get a gun permit, but whatever.

There are so many things wrong with this story, I mean, who makes waffles in an oven?

What have we learned today boys and girls?

Listen to your mother. If she had only listened to her mother this would have all been avoided. How many times has your mother told you not to heat up the entire oven for one little waffle, throw the thing in the toaster and be done with it.

Say something dammit!

 

So, I’m lazy. There is no other excuse. My poor little blog has been sitting here, alone and unattended for a while now. I’d like to make excuses but the reality is, I’m lazy.

 

I’m not lazy in my mind, in my mind, I’m gonna do great things. My to-do list right now looks like this:

 

1.Build workbench for the garage.

2. Make some purses to put on Etsy.

3. Make a few baby quilts.

4. Work on the yoyo quilt.

5. Start a hexagon quilt

6. Hats for Christina

7. Work on my novel

8. Write a blog post

9. Start a new craft blog

10. Go to the thrift store.

11. Revamp furniture I find at the thrift store.

12. Make a dollhouse for Ivy.

13. Make some skirts for Ivy to wear to kindergarten

14. Paint peg people for the dollhouse I’m going to make.

 

That’s not the whole list, I got tired of typing. The problem is, I start things, but never finish them. I buy fabric for quilts. When I get it home it needs to be washed. I wash it, notice that the laundry needs to be done. Gather all the laundry.

 

Back to the craft room to work on the applique quilt that’s not even on the list. Notice fabric for purses. Run to Hobby Lobby to get grommets for purse. Come home and switch out the laundry. Walk the dog. Pick out the yarn for baby hats. Switch the laundry. Go online to get ideas for purses, find a funny blog. Read until bedtime.

 

Tomorrow I will do it all over again. Shit. I will get to these things but in the meantime I’ve found some new blogs that make me laugh until I snort coffee out of my nose and those ladies have reminded me why I love blogging. I’m going to get better about it, everything else can wait.

Baby it's cold outside

 I live in Utah, not Antarctica, but lately I can't tell the difference. It's been freezing here since Christmas. For Utah, that is pretty unusual. Yes we get a lot of snow, but usually it stays so warm that it melts quickly so it's not much of an inconvenience. Not this year, we got snow what feels like months ago, and it's still around.

 I went to my sisters for a baby shower on Saturday and noticed her rain gutters were completely frozen over. Then I came home and saw that mine are too.

 I have a confession to make. I didn't know rain gutters could freeze. I thought their whole purpose was to drain away all the rain, not make guttercicles out of it.

 Now I have to lay in bed and wait for the sound of the rain gutters ripping off the house. Cause I don't have enough stuff to fix, like the master bedroom, and the dishwasher, garbage disposal, siding and don't even get me started on the sprinkler system.

 I'm not sure why I thought owning a house would be fun. So far, no fun at all, just lots of money and shit I can't afford to repair.

  Oh well, on the bright side, Kayla is getting ready to bless us with another beautiful baby boy, which seems to be a theme in our family right now. Lots of pretty little boys. Like Noah, with a box on his head. The ears make me laugh every time.

  I haven't been blogging because I've been tied to a crib quilt I was trying to finish before the shower. I finished it just in time and I'm so proud of it. It's the most detailed quilt I've ever made and as much work as it was, it was fun. I hope Neko loves it.

More Ivy

As part of my resolution to spend more time with the people I love, I'm spending time with Ivy. This kid cracks me up, every single time.

At four she has quite the imagination and has started telling stories that she has made up.

Ivy went downtown with us to see the lights before Christmas, her favorite parts were the Nativity scenes and she sang to all the baby Jesus', it was precious.

On Christmas day she came to spend the night and  told me she had a sad story to tell me. It was about baby Jesus, she saw the baby Jesus, he was just a baby but then he died. She said this in her best little sad face.

Last night we were cuddling on the couch, with my 49ers blanket and she told me she wanted to tell me a story, and it was a true story.

This is the story in Ivy speak, don't you love how four year olds can't pronounce all their letters?

So dis one day, I was in my woom and under my bed, was a zommie. A real zommie, he crashed through the window and broke it. Den he was under my bed. It was so way treepy. Den my mom came in and she dropped a weally sharp knife, and the zommie died.

The storytelling is cute but the expressions on her face when she is telling it are priceless. Occasionally she gives me these little glances out of the corner of her eye to see if I'm believing it, cracks me up!

I'm so grateful for four year olds, it really is the best age.

Just call me Michelle Duggar, with a lazy uterus

One of my more resolutions this year is to be more frugal. There are many reasons for this but the number one reason is that I'm 48 years old and living paycheck to paycheck. That needs to change. Since I'm not an extravagant spender, I need to look for other ways to cut back. So taking a lesson from the Duggar's I've made my own laundry soap. Crazy, right?

Anyway, there are many different recipes online, dry, liquid, green, not so green, you name it, you can find it. Since I'm lazy, I looked for the easiest way.



Here is the lazy woman's guide to making laundry soap.
Ingredients:
water
a bar of soap
I cup Arm & Hammer washing soda
1/2 cup borax

Ok, couple things about the ingredients. Most recipes call for one bar of Fels Naptha soap, or soap of your choice. I didn't have Fels Naptha and being lazy, didn't want to go to the store, but I did have Ivory. The bars of Ivory are smaller than the Fels Naptha and since math and lazy don't mix, I used two. I've read you can use other soaps but don't use moisturizing soap, the oils in them can transfer to your clothes.

Also, use Washing Soda, not baking soda, made by the same people, one for washing, one for baking. It's in the laundry aisle, right next to the Borax.

Most recipes call for grating the soap. I'm thinking these women don't chug wine and chain smoke Pall Malls, not that I do, well except for the wine and only if the recipe calls for it. Anyway, back to my point, I'm not a grater. It's not fun and sometimes I cut my knuckles, that's why I buy my cheese already grated. Why would I grate soap?

So, my laziness paid off and I learned something today, you can microwave soap. Who knew? Some soaps get liquidy, Ivory soap gets fluffy, like frosting or whipped cream, but it's not, don't ask me how I know, just take my word for it.

When you microwave soap, keep an eye on it, it doesn't take long, under one minute. While you are microwaving your soap fill a five gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Bring four cups of water to boil on the stove, stir in your microwaved soap. Do not leave this unattended, it will boil over and trust me, it's a pain to clean up. Stir until the soap is dissolved then pour it in your bucket. Add 1 cup Washing soda and 1/2 cup borax, stir and stir until dissolved.

Fill your bucket with hot tap water and let it sit overnight. In the morning it will look like lovely egg drop soup, that means it's ready. Take an empty container and fill it half way with your laundry soap mix and then fill it up with water. Don't skip this step, I thought it was unnecessary because there is water in the washer, but it gets so thick you can barely pour it out of the container.

Shake before each use. I use about 5/8 cup, I use an old laundry detergent lid to measure it.  You can use this in a front loader, just use less. If you miss the scent of your regular laundry detergent add about 10 drops of essential oil to each gallon. I use tea tree, I like the smell and it's antibacterial or anti something, so it must be good.

This makes 10 gallons of laundry detergent. Someone better at math than me says this saves a lot of money. I'm going to take their word for it.

And you, you are my favorite

I love my job, I just don't understand some of the people who work there.

We have a new guy at work. He thinks he is God's gift to the world and regularly spends his time hitting on all the young girls in the office. I wonder if they all know he is currently married to wife number three and not even in his mid thirties yet?

Anyway, this man and I have bumped heads before because, you know, I'm a woman and therefore, inferior. Like the time that I told him it is not polite to refer to our new boss, who is as little older than he is as "that chick." When I told him it was inappropriate he reminded me that only women on a power trip don't like being called chick by their employees.  So glad he cleared that up for me.

During the election he said Obama only won because of all the "chocolate voters". Guess I'm white chocolate because I voted for him. And his use of the word retarded to describe anything he doesn't agree with, including having to pay child support, makes me want to poke out his eyes with my Sharpie.

Today I found out why I have a problem with him, apparently I'm a Neo Nazi and I didn't even know it. I asked him a question and the response I got was " What are you, a freaking Neo Nazi?" 

Hell, I had to google it to find out what it means. But if I understand this correctly, the man who always talks about the chocolate voters, illegal Mexicans, women and the handicapped, thinks I'm a member of a hate group. I think one of us may be confused.

I think he's a good sales person but considering that half our office is women, he might need some coaching. I tried to help him, I really did, like telling him it's not polite to laugh when a woman has an idea.

Oh well, some people just can't be helped. All I can do at this point is stand back so none of his blood gets on me when someone goes postal on him.

Oh January,why must you hate me?

First let me just say it's freaking cold outside!!! I know I live in Utah but 12 degrees is pushing my patience. Add that to some bad news at work and I'm just gonna say that 2013 is starting out to be MORE of a pain in the butt than I bargained for.

And, just in case I was getting complacent, my daughter is having an allergic reaction to work. I know, sounds silly, I say I'm allergic to work every time I have to go there but she is actually having a mild anaphylactic reaction to something at work. They have had to send her home early three times due to hives and difficulty breathing. I would say the kid just wants to sleep in but she doesn't have to be there until 10:30 and she actually likes her job. It's a little scary to say the least as each time the reaction gets a little worse and we have no idea what it is.

So, for today, I think more wine is in order. At least I'm getting more of something and that is what 2013 is all about. I need to work on my resume as well, just in case the bad news at work today becomes worse news. I should probably do that before the wine. Happy freaking Wednesday, hope your day was MORE better than mine.